


Health And Wellness Exam

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Handful of Jacks [1]
Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Anal Fisting, Anal Speculum, Anxiety, Blow Job, Electroplay, Emetophilia, Emotional Vulnerability, Experimentation, M/M, Makeup, Medical Play, Olfactophilia, Power Play, Restraints, Rimming, Safer Sex, Signing, Slurs, Stirrups, Tens Unit, Vomit, Wall Sex, breath play, cross dressing, gagging, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 00:52:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13536204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Doctor Schneep performs a check up on all of Jack's various egos.





	Health And Wellness Exam

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by Angel. Thank you, darling! 
> 
> I wrote this in two days. I think my brain is still recovering.

All of Jack's various egos sat around a big table, filling out paperwork.

"Is this really necessary?" 

Jack was pouting.

Doctor Schneeplestein leaned back against his own desk, his arms crossed over his chest, pulling his lab coat tight around his shoulders.

He kept meaning to get a new lab coat - this one was a bit... well, tight in certain spots, but still. 

"Yes, it's necessary," the good doctor said. "This is a wellness checkup. In order to know about your wellness, I need to know about _all_ of the things that you need or want."

"Is it really necessary to go through all of this rigmarole?"

Anti was doing that... thing he always did, when he was in a mood, which was to sort of... fade in and out of view.

It was annoying, and someday Schneep would figure out _how_ he did it, so he could write a paper on it.

"Yes, it's necessary," Schneep said, and he tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

They were his patients.

It was his job to take care of them, and even if they weren't always the most cooperative, it was still his job.

At least they could talk, right?

That made things easier, right?

Theoretically.

It might have been a little bit easier if they actually told him things, but, well, nothing in life is exactly how you want it.

He sighed, sitting on his desk, and he watched the various different people fill out the various different forms.

He was going to give them a health and wellness check up that they would never forget!

* * * 

Chase was the first one to come in. 

Of course Chase was the first to come in, he was such a nice guy, and he never liked to inconvenience people.

He had some kind of meet up with his ex-wife the next day as well, and Chase obviously wanted to be in top shape in order to see his kids.

"So how have you been feeling?"

Schneep looked over the top of his glasses, still sitting at his desk in the exam room.

"I've been fine," Chase said, and he was clearly nervous, jiggling his leg. 

"Are you sure? You seem agitated."

"I'm not agitated," Chase snapped, and then he sighed. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me."

"It's alright," said Schneep, and he leaned over, going to the mini fridge under his desk to dig up a sandwich for Chase. "Have you eaten today?"

"I kinda skipped lunch to come here," Chase admitted.

His eyes were on the sandwich.

Schneep handed Chase the sandwich.

"Have some food," he told Chase.

"Hmm?"

"You need to eat something," Schneep told Chase. "You won't do any good if you're all antsy from needing to eat."

Chase laughed, and he was blushing a bit in spite of himself.

"I'm always telling my kids to remember to eat," he admitted, as he unwrapped the cling film from the sandwich, then took a bite out of it.

It was a tuna and cucumber sandwich, and Chase sighed, beginning to relax as he chewed.

"You mentioned in your questionnaire that you've been feeling queasy as of late. Has that continued?"

"A little bit," Chase admitted. "I've, uh, like I said, I've been kinda absent minded when it comes to eating lunch or breakfast. I do make sure to have dinner, though."

Schneep nodded.

"How have you been feeling otherwise?"

"Been pretty good," said Chase. "Me and my ex-wife, we've, uh, we've been working on visitation rights and whatnot, in regards to our children."

"That sounds exhausting," Schneep said, his expression sympathetic. 

"I'm getting by," said Chase. "And it's not too bad. "I mean, I wish it was simpler, but at least we're hashing it out, right?"

"Indeed," said Schneep. "Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"I think so, yeah," said Chase, and he laughed, a little self conscious. "Making sure to eat and shower, stuff like that."

"How about your mental health? Are you relaxing? Doing things to help relax you in other ways?"

"Yeah," said Chase. "Don't worry. I know how to relax."

"Do you have any new sexual partners?"

Chase blushed, all the way to the tips of his ears.

"... no," Chase said. "I've, uh, I've been kind of keeping to myself, since all of the drama has been going on."

"I see," said Schneep. "If I may ask a personal question?"

"You are my doctor," Chase pointed out, and he looked somewhat amused in spite of himself. 

"Well, yes, but still," said Schneep. "It really can't hurt to check, can it?"

"No, it can't," said Chase. "I appreciate it."

"Do you worry that your emetophilia is the reason behind your divorce?"

Chase choked, coughing so hard that Schneep was worried he was going to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him, until Chase held a hand up, wheezing, but otherwise okay.

"I'm fine," Chase said. "I'm fine."

"Evidently not, if you're that upset by me mentioning it," said Schneep.

"I dunno what you're talking about," said Chase, and he was avoiding eye contact. 

"You have emetophilia," said Scheep. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a perfectly natural fetish."

"... natural?" 

Chase was giving Schneep an odd look.

"Of course," said Schneep. "It's a bit disgusting, that's true, but is there anything about the sexual process that _isn't_ a bit disgusting?"

"It's one of the reasons my wife left me," Chase said, his voice very quiet. 

"Yes?"

Schneep scribbled down a few notes.

"Because... because she said it's disgusting," Chase said, and now his voice was getting rough. "She said she was worried I'd do something... you know, untoward, in regards to our kids."

It sounded like he was going to start crying.

His sandwich sat in his lap, halfway eaten.

"That is simply not true," Schneep said sharply.

"What?"

"Having a fetish of any kind does not a pedophile make," said Schneep. "I assume that your interest in vomit stems from something from your own childhood, and you wish to recreate the feeling, without involving any children."

"... right," said Chase.

He was still blushing.

"Do you wish to share?"

"First, I'd like to know how you know that in the first place," said Chase. 

He took another slightly shaky bite of his sandwich.

"Oh," said Schneep, "It's obvious, if you know what you're looking for."

"Know what you're looking for," Chase echoed, and he looked slightly shell shocked.

"Oh yes," said Schneep. "Although I am curious, if you'd be willing to disclose the origin of the fetish for you?"

"It's more a kink than a fetish for me," Chase said quickly. "I mean, um, I can get off without it... most of the time."

"Of course," said Schneep. 

"But, uh, this one time, when I was a teenager, just about that point when you're horny all the time, I got the stomach flu, and I was puking, and then for some reason my dick just started twitching the same way it does when you're about to cum, which felt weird, and I started to jerk off right after I threw up, because, uh, because while it felt really weird, at the same time it felt really good, and you know, when you're like seventeen you'll chase anything that'll make your dick feel good."

Schneep nodded.

"And then... um." Chase was blushing, looking down at his hands. "I've got a really strong gag reflex, and um...." He trailed off, then made eye contact. "I'd like you to promise me you won't judge me," he told Schneep.

"I am a doctor," Schneep said. "I do not judge."

... not strictly true, but Schneep had a good enough poker face that most people couldn't tell if he was judging them or not.

"When I was a little older, in college, I used to like to... you know, mess around with guys. Except for the fact that I have a really strong gag reflex, so every time I'd give someone a blow job, I'd end up gagging on their cock, probably throwing up a little, until I just... got to the point that throwing up on someone was enough to make me horny."

Schneep nodded.

"A near Pavlovian response?"

"... something like that," said Chase.

His hands were shaking, and he was gulping his sandwich down like he was afraid that Schneep would take it away from him.

"I know I'm disgusting -" Chase began.

"You're not," Schneep said.

"Um?"

"It's... unusual," said Schneep, "and possibly a bit unsanitary, but...." 

Schneep shrugged.

"But?"

"It's not that outlandish. I'm sure there are many people like you," said Schneep. "You just need to look."

"Right," said Chase, and he blushed. "I... I don't really have it in me to go searching for someone right now."

"Totally understandable," said Schneep. "Although if you're interested, I would be willing to do a "scene" with you."

Chase paused. 

"What?"

"This is a wellness check up," Schneep reminded him. "I'm here to help you with your wellness. I believe that sexual fulfillment is part of wellness."

"... right," said Chase. 

He was blushing very hard.

"Do you have any interest in it?"

"I, um... I have interest," said Chase. "Just... I... I, um...."

"Hmmm?"

"... I'd be up for it," said Chase, and he licked his lips. 

"I will need to perform a check-up on you first," said Schneep. "But you are consenting to doing a "scene" involving vomit?"

Chase nodded, and he was squirming in his seat.

He probably had an erection.

When was the last time that Chase had actually had a chance to do this kind of thing, anyway?

Schneep smiled at him.

Chase smiled back, a little unsteadily. 

“And you don’t think I’m, like… gross?”

“No more than any other human being,” said Schneep. “To be human is to be disgusting. In a sense, I believe that you are simply embracing it to a greater degree than the rest of us.”

“... I feel like I should argue with you about that,” said Chase, “but I can’t think of a good rebuttal.”

Schneep grinned at him.

Chase grinned back, clearly nervous, but relaxing into it.

* * *

The check-up went along without any hitches.

Chase's lungs were good, his heart beat strong and easily, his eyes were working well, his weight was well within the parameters of someone his height.

It was when Schneep approached him with a syringe full of peroxide that Chase looked nervous.

"What's that for?"

"This will induce vomiting," Schneep said. "In a few minutes, at the very least."

"... oh," said Chase. 

He was sitting on the examining table in just his boxers and a paper gown. 

"So," said Schneep, "I am going to give you a prostate exam, and you are going to vomit in a bucket."

"... right," said Chase. 

"Would you like anything else?"

"Would it be too weird for me to ask you for a blowjob?"

"No," said Schneep. "No, it would not be."

He was hard in his scrubs, and it was probably obvious.

Okay.

"Are you ready?"

Chase nodded, and he opened his mouth.

* * *

Schneep was on his knees. 

He was on his knees, and Chase was bent over the table. 

Schneep had his fingers in Chase's ass, and was pressing down on Chase's prostate with one finger.

It wasn't the usual kind of prostate exam - Schneep had Chase's cock in his mouth as well, and he was, admittedly, kind of squashed, between Chase and the exam table.

But he was opening his mouth and relaxing his throat, bobbing his head, as Chase began to get harder.

Chase was shuddering against him, and Chase's bare toes were curling on the linoleum.

He was making unhappy, hiccuping noises.

"I'm... what did you give me, doc?"

Chase's voice was plaintive.

Schneep pulled off, nuzzling the head of Chase's cock.

He hadn't put a condom on Chase this time, for one specific reason, and it was... kind of unsettling, but at the same time, he'd already done the blood test, so it wasn't like he had to worry about catching anything.

"Just some peroxide," Schneep said, his tone nonchalant.

Then he was back on Chase's cock, beginning to bob his head, taking Chase's cock deeper than he strictly should have.

Well, at least, deeper than he should have, were Chase not an emetophile. 

* * *

Schneep was the first one to gag.

His throat constricted around Chase's cock, squeezing, and his fingers shook, almost _spasmed_ , inside of Chase.

Chase made a choked off noise, and he rolled his hips forward. 

Schneep had a painfully sensitive gag reflex, which usually didn't give him much trouble, but... well, he didn't usually let anyone fuck his face like this in the first place.

His gag reflex was already primed, as the tip of Chase's cock went down further.

Schneep's nose was pressed against Chase's belly, and then the muscles shivered, as Chase gagged, and his cock twitched inside of Schneep's throat, which made Schneep gag, hard enough that his eyes watered.

It was uncomfortable, but there was something oddly pleasurable about that kind of discomfort - something so human about it, something so vulnerable.

Schneep usually found this kind of kink thing a bit... distasteful, but what's the point in life, if not to occasionally do something gross?

He gagged again, as wet sounds went on above his head, as Chase threw up.

Peroxide would do it, every time, and Chase's cock was still twitching.

Schneep's own gag reflex was acting up now, and his stomach was rebelling.

There was vomit in his mouth, and okay, that was... that was gross, but Chase was moaning between retching noises, and Schneep tried to swallow, which only made Chase moan harder.

Chase fucked Schneep awkwardly, as he threw up into the bucket on the exam table, and Schneep twisted his fingers, thrusting a bit harder.

His mouth was full of the taste of his own spit, of Chase's pre, of his own bile and the sandwich he'd eaten earlier.

At least he had kind of expected this to happen, and had made sure to eat something bland. 

Chase was beginning to thrust faster, and it sounded like he was crying. 

Schneep gagged again, and now there was _definitely_ a bit of stomach acid on Chase's dick, which must not have been very nice, but... well, Chase was still moaning, still squirming, as his cock began to swell.

Schneep pulled back, coughing wetly, and he swallowed.

His throat was raw from all the acid, and he had to clear his throat to speak.

"Do you want me to continue?"

Chase gave an awkward thumbs up, and Schneep went back down. 

He didn't usually deep throat to this degree - it was uncomfortable, and always made him gag.

But as of this occasion, it was less that he was taking it this deep not in spite of the gagging, but because of it.

It was what Chase very clearly wanted, and he was rolling his hips forward, even as he kept vomiting. 

Maybe that had been too much peroxide.

It hadn't been that big of a sandwich.

And then Chase did something with his hips, forcing his cock deeper down Schneep's throat, then deeper back against Schneep's gloved fingers.

Schneep began to thrust, grateful for the extra lube he'd used, grateful for the fact that he'd drunk enough milk to neutralize his own stomach acid, bobbing his head in time with Chase's thrusts, sometimes just pulling his own head back enough to suck on the head of Chase's cock, his tongue under Chase's foreskin, then back down his throat.

Schneep was of course taking mental notes, at least somewhat - Chase seemed to have stopped gagging, but now it sounded like he was sobbing, and that couldn't have been the most healthy thing on his raw throat, but then again, when the fun loving goof facade was lost, he did come off as a guy who needed a good cry.

He was crying and coughing, his voice rough and wrecked, and now Schneep was concentrating more fully on the blowjob - actually _giving_ a blowjob, instead of being a thing that Chase was using to get his cock wet. 

He let Chase thrust deep a few times, if only for the wet sound of his own gagging, but then he was adding another finger, and Chase was squirming, his belly tensing up.

Chase moaned and whined, as Schneep began to thrust faster, harder, pressing harder on Chase's prostate, and Schneep smiled awkwardly.

His own erection was desperate and hard in his pants, but he was going to worry about that later.

He began to bob his head faster, humming, sucking, putting some technique in it, as he did things with his tongue.

He was going to have to change his scrubs before he saw his next patient, and air the room out - it was going to smell like sex and like vomit, which was... not really an appealing smell to people who weren't emetophiles.

And then there was salty bitterness down the back of Schneep's throat, and okay, no, that was _disgusting_ , it was slimy and gross, and Schneep really did gag this time, before swallowing thickly.

He'd seen Chase's blood work, he didn't have to worry about catching anything particularly unpleasant. 

He pulled off of Chase's cock, giving the head of it a little kiss, and then he pulled his fingers out of Chase's ass, just as carefully.

"Your prostate is good," Schneep said, his voice rough and broken, "but I think your penis needs a bit of a break, after all of that stomach acid."

"Right," said Chase, and his voice was a croak.

He sounded like he was two minutes away from crying.

Schneep stood up carefully, ignoring his own erection, and he wrapped his arms around Chase's back, as Chase sobbed.

Chase turned around, and he was crying into Schneep's shoulder, clutching at Schneep's shirt like he was afraid to get blown away by some great beast.

"Shh," said Schneep, and he rubbed Chase's back. "Shh... I know it's scary. It's gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay."

"What's wrong with me?" 

Chase was shaking. 

"You've got an unusual kink," Schneep said, keeping his voice firm and reassuring. "There's nothing wrong with you. Okay?"

"... okay," Chase said, and he sniffed, making a face. "Could I possibly have a glass of water?"

"I'll do you one better," Schneep said. "I've got an extra toothbrush stored around here."

"You're a lifesaver, doc."

"I do my best."

* * * 

Schneepelstein's next patient was... less agreeable.

Because of course he was.

"Antiseptic," Schneep said, and at least he wasn't gritting his teeth.

"Doc," said Anti, and he was... he was lounging like a goddamn cat, leaning back into his chair indolently.

"So I noticed you wrote "screw you" on the questionnaire portion of the wellness quiz that I gave you," Schneep said. 

He was trying to sound patient. 

He really was!

He and Antiseptic had more or less come to an understanding. 

Antiseptic didn't try to kill Schneep, Schneep didn't do unpleasant things to Anti when he had the chance.

it was an uneasy peace, but it was a peace nonetheless. 

"What can I say," said Anti, and he put his hands behind his head, leaning back into his chair. "I think that you're just gathering data to feed your stupid little fetish."

"And what fetish do you think that might be?"

"Haven't the foggiest," said Anti.

The cut on Anti's throat bled sluggishly.

How many shirts did Anti go through, Schneep wondered. 

Sure, it looked all cool and dramatic when it was freshly bleeding, but old blood stains tended to look more like dried out chocolate milk than anything else, and nobody wants to be known as that weirdo who spills chocolate milk on themselves.

"Well," said Schneep, "as entities that all have their wellness tied to one being, it helps to have our own wellness monitored and taken care of."

"Does it now?"

Anti sounded bored.

"I happen to remember several... previous encounters," Schneep said, and he was only blushing a little bit, "and I do believe I know what would scratch that metaphorical itch."

"You think I have metaphorical itches, huh?"

Anti waggled his eyebrows.

"To be blunt," Schneep said flatly, "I have no clue how your body works, only that it mimics the standard human body in some respects, and not in others."

"So you want to give me a full medical examination, to see how that works, huh?"

"Yes," said Schneep.

"... if you'll zap me," said Anti.

"Zap you?"

"I know you've got that... zappy thing," said Anti.

The strange extra-dimensional entity looked... as close as he ever did to embarrassment. 

"Zappy thing," Schneep said, deadpan.

"You used it on Jack, when he had the back pain."

"You mean my TENS unit?"

"Yeah, that thing."

"And you want me to use that on you?"

"Yeah," said Anti. 

"Are you having any pain that you need to be managed?"

"If I say yes, will you still use it on me?"

"... I'll use it on you, on a few conditions," Schneep said finally, looking Anti up and down, his own expression thoughtful.

"You just want to take advantage of me, don't you?" Anti waggled his eyebrows. "Dirty pervert doctor, huh?"

"I want to examine you," said Schneep. "Take notes. I want to figure out how you're put together."

"When you put it like that, you sound like you want to take me apart," said Anti, and he was looking a good deal more interested.

"Is that what you want me to do?" Schneep tried not to sound too horrified. "I don't know just how immortal you are. Or what it would do to Jack, if you ended up dying."

"I can't die," Anti said, and he as smirking again. 

"Alright," said Schneep. "So do we have a deal?"

"... we have a deal," said Anti, and he spat on his hand and held it out.

Schneep made a distasteful face, but he gave Anti one gloved hand to shake.

He was tempted to save the glove - Anti's saliva was tinged with something dark, almost like ink, and Schneep was... curious.

But he was given full access now, so he wouldn't have to pick samples off of a glove. 

He put on another pair of gloves, and he rubbed his hands together, looking Anti up and down.

"Right," said Schneep. "I'm going to need you to strip."

* * * 

Schneep ran the full gamut of tests on Anti.

He listened to Anti's heart (or at least, where Anti's heart was theoretically - it sounded a bit like a human heart, only much... faster), he checked Anti's pulse.

He made Anti bend down and touch his toes, made Anti perform balance tests, weighed him, measured him. 

He got a blood sample, and even talked Anti into giving him a urine sample, although the stuff in the small container didn't look like anything that Schneep had ever seen come out of a healthy human being.

Human urine wasn't usually that shade of... grey. 

"So are you gonna use the zappy thing on me now?"

Anti, in a paper gown, sat on the exam table, and he looked grumpy.

"I need to get a semen sample," Schneep said, trying to sound as prim as possible, "and I will do a prostate exam. I can use the TENS unit on you while I do that, if you'd like."

"Ooo, yes please," said Anti. 

He was smirking.

"But," said Schneep, "I want to put your feet up in stirrups while I do it, and I want your arms tied to the table.

Anti gave Schneep a wide smile, showing off his teeth, which were just a bit too sharp for a human being's. 

"Aw, doc, don't you trust me?"

"I trust my restraints, and I trust you to pursue what you want," Schneep said.

That got him a burst of laughter, which Schneep hadn't expected.

It was... it was honestly kind of unsettling.

Anti's laughter was not exactly... nice laughter. 

"You're alright, doc," said Anti, and he flopped back onto the table. "Well? Get to it!"

* * * 

It took a few minutes.

Schneep had to get the stirrups lined up, then attach the restraints to the table.

Some small part of him wished that he had a straightjacket, but how would he write that one off?

The restraints were made of thick, heavy canvas, and they kept Anti’s arms down on the table.

The stirrups opened Anti up for all the world to see, and he didn’t seem to care.

He already had an erection, because of course he did.

“Well?”

“Patience,” Schneep said, and he went to one of his cabinets, to find his TENS units.

He had two of them, and he didn’t use them for much these days.

Still, at least someone would enjoy them, right? 

Schneep sighed, and he went to Anti, who was lying on the table, staring boredly up at the ceiling, seemingly unconcerned that his everything was on display.

… then again, this was Anti.

He wasn’t human, in the strictest sense of the idea, and he didn’t seem bothered by human’s social mores. 

“Does your neck ever stop bleeding?”

Schneep began to apply the little sticky pads to Antis’ inner thighs, along the thick muscle connecting the knee to the pelvis. 

It was going to hurt a lot when the tape had to be taken off, but that was going to be Anti’s problem, not Schneep’s. 

Schneep connected the little wires to the pads, and then he turned the machine on, resting it on the table.

It was on its second setting, and it would be a little tickle of Anti’s nerves.

The muscles twitched just a bit, and so did Anti’s cock.

“I’m going to do a prostate exam,” he told Anti. 

“Do you even know if I _have_ a prostate?”

“That’s one of the reasons I’m performing the exam,” Schneep said, as patient as ever.

“So it should be called an exam to see if I have a prostate, not a prostate exam,” Anti insisted.

Schneep pumped the special medical lube across his fingers, and he ignored Anti.

“Are you even listening, Doc?”

“I’m listening,” Schneep said distractedly.

Anti was wide open like this, and he as just as hairy as the rest of them.

He’d have to do some kind of study about this - they were all based off of Jack, in one way or another, and it was all complicated and probably involved some kind of magic, although he didn’t want to look too deep into it.

“Maybe you’re just a - oh my.”

Anti stopped talking, when Schneep’s finger slid into his ass.

Well, for a minute or so.

Then: 

“That’s fuckin’ cold! You couldn’t have warmed it up?!”

“It being cold means that it’s sanitary,” Schneep said, distracted.

Anti was hot and squeezing inside, and more of his overly fast heartbeat was throbbing around Schneep’s fingers.

Schneep curled his fingers, feeling around with the tip of his finger.

He knew what a prostate felt like, and so far Anti felt more or less like anyone else on the inside, albeit hotter.

Schneep was glad for his gloves.

“Are you just prodding around down there?”

“You’re set up differently from what I’m used to,” Schneep said, and he kept his voice calm and level.

He curled his fingers upwards, and Anti’s cock twitched.

“ _Oh_ ,” said Anti, and his hips twitched.

“I need you to stay still,” Schneep said, keeping his voice calm. 

“Do that again,” Anti said thickly.

“Give me a moment,” said Schneep, withdrawing his fingers, removing his glove, and adjusting the TENS units.

He turned them up to the sixth setting - Anti had wanted to get zapped.

He’d feel this zap.

Judging by the way that Anti was moaning, he was more than feeling it.

“Is that satisfactory?” Schneep didn’t even try to hide the smugness in his voice.

Why would he?

He put on a new glove, and he squeezed more lube out, onto two fingers this time.

He slid them in easily, slick with the lube, and it was as if Anti’s muscles were pulling him in, squeezing his fingers in a vice grip.

“Oh,” Anti said, and he squirmed, trying to buck his hips.

The muscles in his thighs were jumping - it couldn’t have been comfortable, and Schneep winced a little bit every time he saw it.

But Anti was moaning like he was being paid for it, squirming just a bit, and Schneep realized belatedly that he should have put on some kind of mask, or maybe a splash guard.

Oh well.

He needed to get the semen sample anyway - he might as well just collect it from the source.

As it were.

“Oh,” Anti whined, and his toes were curling in the stirrups, his hips curling forward. “Oh, fuck, doc….”

Schneep pressed down on Anti’s prostate, hard enough that it would have been painful on someone else, but on Anti, it seemed to be spurring his back to arch to further heights.

That couldn’t have been that comfortable, but Anti was never one to do things the normal way. 

And now Schneep was really fucking him with those fingers, in time with the pulses on Anti’s thighs.

Anti was sobbing, and Schneep hadn’t even been aware that it was a thing that Anti could _do_ , but here he was, sobbing like his heart was broken, as Schneep fucked him, and the electricity surged through his muscles.

“Make it stronger,” Anti demanded, between sobs.

“You couldn’t even say please?” 

Schneep was probably more disgruntled than he needed to be, but Anti’s rudeness always got on his nerves.

Like, was it really necessary?

Keeping in character was one thing, if that was it, but Anti was always just so… urgh.

Schneep rolled his eyes, and then he pulled his fingers out of Anti.

“Why’d you _stop_?!”

Anti was petulant.

Of course he was.

“I need to gather some supplies,” Schneep told him.

“You were literally doing me in the butt,” Anti whined.

“I was hardly “doing you in the butt,”” Schneep scolded.

“‘Doink you in ze butt,”” Anti said, and he was very clearly imitating Schneep’s own accent.

Schneep rolled his eyes, then got a collection jar and more lube.

He slid two fingers into Anti’s ass, and he left the open jar on the table next to him, with his other instruments.

Anti writhed under him, and the TENS units made his muscles jump.

One handed, Schneep turned the machine up again, until they were at the eighth setting.

Anti was crying again, and some small part of Schneep was taking pleasure in that.

Maybe there was a bit of the sadist doctor in him after all.

He twisted his fingers, then added a third, extra lubed up finger, and they were filling Anti up, leaving him shuddering and twisting on the table, fighting against the restraints, his feet somehow staying in the stirrups.

“Tell me what you’re feeling,” Schneep told Anti.

“What the fuck do you _think_ I’m feeling?”

Anti’s voice was choked with tears.

Schneep wished he could get a collection of them - you could never have too many specimens. 

But Anti’s cock was drooling… something.

It looked like pre-cum, but there were flecks of darkness in it, almost like soot, or little drops of ink.

Upon reflection, Schneep probably should have made a sample jar to collect that as well.

Oh well.

He didn’t doubt that Anti would be back.

He twisted his fingers, and he flexed them, pressing down on Anti’s prostate, spreading his knuckles now and again to give Anti more of the sensation of fullness, as Anti sobbed and thrashed against him.

Anti’s thighs were going to be worn out, from all of the excess electricity running through them.

At least Anti seemed to be enjoying himself.

More or less.

Anti was really yanking at the restraints, and Schneep had a moment where he was afraid for his own safety.

But they held, and Anti shivered under him, panting, open mouthed.

“You were telling me how you were feeling?”

Schneep said it sharper than he intended to.

His fingers might have jabbed a little harder

Anti howled like a beast.

Schneep rolled his eyes.

He was going to have to worry about his neighbors as well.

Oh, joy.

“It’s… full,” Anti said, his voice rough. “It’s very full. And when you… oh, fuck, when you do that, whatever it is, I feel….”

“Yes?”

“Like I’m gonna cum. Or piss myself. Or… something.”

“Something?”

“Yes, you fucking cunt, _something_ ,” snapped Anti. 

Schneep withdrew his fingers, stood up, took off his glove.

He got another glove, and another specimen cup.

He used a swab to collect Anti’s pre-cum, which was puddling right out of his cock, and he scooped it into the cup, then took off _that_ glove (wow, but he was going through a lot of them) and carefully labeled the cup. 

Anti kept whining on the table, but Schneep made a point of ignoring him.

“Now,” said Schneep, when he had put the cup with its sample on the tray with the other sample cups, “where were we?”

“You were fucking me,” Anti said, in a tone that bordered on plaintive. 

“And how do we ask for that?”

Another glove, he drenched his fingers in lube this time.

He pressed the tip of two of them at the very edge of Anti’s asshole, and Anti’s muscles tried to pull him in. 

“... please,” Anti mumbled.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Fuck please!” Anti bawled out. “Please, don’t stop, please keep fucking me, please keep the electricity on, fuck, just… don’t stop!”

“I won’t stop,” said Schneep, and he began to thrust in earnest.

He curled his fingers, right up against Anti’s prostate, and then he reached forward with his other gloved hand, and he wrapped it around Anti’s cock. 

Anti howled.

He bucked into Schneep’s hand, and Schneep began to stroke him carefully, long, sweet strokes from the root of Anti’s cock all the way to the head, aided by Anti’s slippery pre-cum.

Anti’s foreskin was drawn back, and Schneep leaned in closer to examine it - it was different from Chase’s, different from his own.

Anti possibly just had a bigger cock.

Huh.

Schneep would have to examine it closer, at a later date.

He began to stroke Anti a little faster, thrusting in time with his stroking now, in time with the twitching of Anti’s muscles, and Anti thrashed under him and wept, panting open mouthed, as if he was running a race.

“Fuck, fuck, Doc, oh fuck, don’t stop, don’t you fucking dare stop, holy fuck, holy fuck holy -”

Anti came dramatically. 

Of course he did.

Schneep realized, about five seconds before Anti came, that he was going to have trouble getting a “clean” sample of the cum.

Goddamn it.

But he milked Anti through the orgasm, stroking and squeezing his cock, pressing down Anti’s prostate, until Anti’s cock had ceased twitching, and he was making irritted noises every time Schneep squeezed him.

There was a little bit more cum dripping out of him, still, and Schneep withdrew his fingers, pulling one glove off, and scooping some of the cum into the jar with the help of a tongue depressor.

“You fucking creep,” Anti said, his voice tired. “What are you saving my spunk for, anyway?”

“I want to examine it,” Schneep said, screwing the lid tightly closed and labeling it, with the date.

He placed it on the little tray with the rest of them, and then he sighed, leaning over and turning off the TENS unit.

“What did you do that for?”

And they were back to the whining.

Did Anti have any other form of communication?

Evidently not.

“Because it’s bad for your muscles to have that electricity going on at once,” he told Anti. 

“Oh,” said Anti, and then he yawned. “I tell ya what, Doc, I could fall the fuck to sleep right here.”

“I’m seeing another patient,” Anti told him. “I need you to be up and ready to go.”

“How can you expect me to be up and ready to go, when you just made me cum my brains out?” Anti waggled his eyebrows. “I bet you gave me special treatment. You’ve been wanting to get your hands on my cock for ages, haven’t you?”

“If thinking that will help you sleep at night, sure,” said Schneep, keeping his voice toneless as he undid Anti’s restraints, then helped Anti get his feet out of the stirrups.

“You kinky sonofabitch,” said Anti, although it sounded like there was some admiration in his voice.

Schneep rolled his eyes. 

“You may get dressed,” he told Anti. 

“What if I wanna stay like this?”

Anti stood on the floor, his legs shaking, rubbing his wrists.

He was still wearing the paper gown, although his cock was out and throbbing still, dripping on the floor. 

Schneep was going to have to mop with antiseptic.

… well, not that kind of antiseptic, but still.

Schneep tried not to make a face.

“I don’t care what you are wearing,” he told Anti, making sure to speak slowly, “as long as you are out of the room.”

“Alright alright,” Anti grumbled. “You’d think you didn’t like me, doc!”

Schneep snorted, and he offered Anti a wet wipe.

Anti looked at it uncomprehendingly.

“For your butt,” Schneep said.

“... what?”

“There is lube dripping out of your butt,” Schneep said. “I thought you might want to clean it out.”

“Aw, Doc, you do care,” said Anti.

Schneep snorted again, and put on a new pair of gloves, then grabbed the tray that had the little specimen containers on it. 

He could give Anti some privacy to get dressed, and deliver everything to the lab in one fell swoop. 

* * * 

Schneepelstein’s next client looked nervous.

He always looked nervous when he took his mask off, although Schneep don't entirely understand it. 

They all had the same face… more or less.

What made the difference, if it could be seen or not.

“So you are Marvin the Magician?”

Schneep looked down at the paperwork in front of him.

Marvin nodded.

“Best magician this side of anywhere,” he said.

“And how have you been feeling lately?”

“... if I’m being really honest, I’ve been kind of worried,” Marvin said, and he was leaning back in his seat, twisting his fingers together. 

“Yeah? What have you been worried about?”

“... I’m worried you’re gonna judge me for this,” said Marvin.

Schneep, thinking back to his other two clients of the day, shook his head.

“I can honestly say that I’m very hard to shock,” he told Marvin. “I’m sure it’s something I’ve heard before. I am a doctor, after all!”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“... I like to put things in my butt,” said Marvin.

Schneep nodded.

He’d gathered that, from little things he’d picked up.

“So what is the problem?”

“Lately I’ve been craving… bigger things,” Marvin said.

He was blushing very darkly, staring down at his hands. 

He was still in his stage get up, fiddling with the edges of his cape. 

“Bigger,” Schneep said, nodding. “How much bigger?”

“... a lot bigger,” said Marvin. “I’ve been worried about the… the safety of it.”

“Well, as long as you’re going slow and using body safe materials, there’s nothing to worry about,” said Schneep. 

“I read someplace that putting things in your butt can make you incontinent,” Marvin burst out.

“Well, whoever said that was very wrong,” said Marvin. “People have been putting things up there for about as long as as there’s been human civilization, and we haven’t exactly been known for being an incontinent species!”

“But what about that one guy who my friend’s brother knew?”

“We all have someone who our friend’s brother knew,” Schneep assured Marvin. “I promise you. You’ll be absolutely fine.”

“... well, if you’re sure,” said Marvin, but he still looked unsure. 

“Have you put anything dangerous inside of yourself?”

Marvin was turning a darker red. 

“I… I put a bottle in once. A soda bottle.”

“That’s not very safe,” Schneep said, and he was aware that he was scolding, but couldn’t help. “Don’t ever put anything inside of yourself that doesn’t have a flared base, or it might get stuck. Have you gotten anything stuck?”

“No, no,” Marvin said quickly. “I mean, uh… I’ve come close, but I haven’t gotten anything stuck.”

“... if I may ask, where did this interest come from? Is it because of the sensation?”

“Oh, the sensation is a big part of it,” said Marvin. “But, um. Um.”

He was blushing, staring down at his hands.

“I promise I won’t laugh at you,” said Schneep, trying to keep his voice gentle.

His voice was still rough from all the vomiting and the face fucking.

“... I got really drunk with a friend of mine, and they were saying if I was a magician, I could make something disappear.” 

Schneep nodded along, although he was beginning to see where this was going.

Oh boy.

“But, uh… so it ended up with him fucking me in the butt.” Marvin stared at his hands, still. He was blushing harder. “And then… you know, and then, he started sticking things into my butt. The biggest one was a wine bottle.”

Schneep’s eyebrows went up in spite of himself.

“Oh,” he said.

“Yeah,” said Marvin. “I, uh, I stick to dildos these days.”

“That’s good,” said Schneep. “You probably shouldn’t put anything in your butt that wasn’t made to be put in butts.”

“Right,” said Marvin.

“Are you ready for your check up now?”

Marvin nodded.

“And would you be interested in me testing to see how big a toy you can take?” 

“... you can do that?”

“I do have a collection of dilators,” said Schneep. “If you are curious, for future knowledge?” 

“... I do appreciate knowledge,” said Marvin, and he licked his lips. 

“Indeed,” said Schneep. “So. Shall we?” 

“Let’s do it.” 

* * * 

Schneep checked all of Marvin’s vitals - his breathing was good, his heartbeat was steady, his eyes were bright.

It was when Schneep put on a new pair of gloves that Marvin looked nervous.

“Um,” he said. 

“Hm?”

“Are you sure this isn’t too weird? I don’t want to come off as some kind of… you know, some kind of creepy pervert, or something like that. I don’t want to come off as if I’m trying to take advantage of you, because I’m very much not trying to.”

“I didn’t think you were,” said Schneep, trying to sound reassuring. “This check-up is for your wellness, so I am ensuring that you are well, in every sense of the word.”

“Well,” said Marvin, and he was licking his lips, “if you’re absolutely sure….”

“I am,” said Schneep, in what was hopefully a reassuring tone of voice.

“Thank you,” Marvin said, and he sighed, leaning back.

He was in his flimsy paper gown, sitting on the exam table.

“There are two ways of doing this,” said Schneep. “I can put you in the stirrups and then use a speculum and/or dilators, should that be what you want. Or you can bend over the table and I can do it that way.”

“... I think I’d like to be on my back,” said Marvin, after a moment. “I’m not so much… I worry my knees are going are gonna, you know, give out.”

Schneep nodded.

“So I am going to use the dilators, and if they don’t leave you satisfied, I will use the speculum and whatever I have at hand.”

“... right,” said Marvin, and he was blushing. “I, uh… I also have a… a thing. A… a gag. I like it with the gag.”

“What kind of gag?”

“Any kind of gag,” said Marvin. “Just not, you know, one of my socks or something like that.”

“Hmm….” Schneep leaned back into his seat, staring up at the ceiling. “Do you have anything you can use as a gag?”

“I have a collection of handkerchiefs in my pocket,” Marvin said, and he sat up awkwardly, clumsily getting off of the table and taking them off.

“If you’re alright with that,” said Schneep. 

Marvin nodded eagerly. 

“And how will you be able to communicate with me?”

“I can bang on the table three times,” said Marvin. “If I need you to stop, I mean.”

“Alright,” said Schneep.

Marvin’s hands would be free to do whatever, and it wasn’t like he was a brat the way Anti was. 

Schneep didn’t have to worry about Marvin trying anything funny.

… well, maybe Marvin would try to do some kind of magic trick bullshit, but that was also Marvin being himself.

“Right,” said Schneep, and he pulled his stool up to the foot of the table, as Marvin got himself comfortable again, his feet up in the stirrups. “Scoot forward a bit, please.”

Marvin did so, and here he was again, in this same position.

It was always interesting, seeing the differences in their bodies - even though they all had the same basic… blueprint, their bodies were all different.

Marvin was uncircumcised as well, and he had a birthmark of some kind on the head of his cock, half hidden by his foreskin.

Marvin was still pretty soft, although he was beginning to swell up.

Probably an anxiety erection - Schneep was known to get them himself.

Now….

“Before anything else, I’m going to give you a prostate exam, okay?”

Marvin made an affirmative noise, and when Schneep looked up, he saw that he was getting a thumbs up. 

Schneep’s fingers slid into Marvin’s ass, and Marvin’s muscles squeezed him tightly.

It was strange to think of this tight space opening enough to contain a wine bottle, but then again, bodies really were wonderous things.

Schneep felt along carefully with the tip of his finger, thought the hot, grasping tightness.

It was different from Anti - Anti was that much hotter, and that much… alien, although now that it was so fresh on Schneep’s mind, he could compare it better.

Marvin was alive, yes, but his heart wasn’t racing at half a million miles an hour, and his heat wasn’t otherworldly. 

Schneep found Marvin’s prostate, and he pressed down on it gently.

Marvin moaned, his hips twitching forward, and the moan was garbled around the handkerchiefs wadded up in his mouth.

His hips curved forward, and he moaned again, his toes curling against the stirrup, and his hips were lifting up. 

“Do you want me to keep doing it like this? Your prostate seems to check out.”

Marvin’s cock wasn’t exactly hard yet, but it was twitching against Marvin’s belly, beginning to leak out pre.

Marvin gave another thumbs up, and Schneep tapped against it gently, a little morse code message.

Marvin gave a long, low moan, his mouth falling open and his head falling back.

Marvin’s cock kept twitching.

“I’m going to get the dilators now,” he told Marvin.

Another thumbs up.

“This is what they look like,” Schneep said, and he held up the smallest one. 

They were a bit like featureless dildos, with bulging, bulbous heads, almost like a butt plug with a shaft attached to it. 

Marvin nodded.

“I’m going to start with the smallest one first, and we can build our way up from there. If you don’t feel stretched to capacity with the largest one, I will get out the speculum, and we can go from there.”

Another nod.

Schneep smiled at Marvin, and Marvin smiled back, his eyes sleepy, the handkerchiefs already wet with drool.

* * * 

Schneep put on new gloves, and covered the dilator with a condom.

He had a whole box of them next to the table - he’d had a feeling that he was going to need a lot tonight.

… while he was at it he put a condom on Marvin’s cock. 

It would save him from the mess later. 

Marvin moaned as his cock was handled, but he was calm, still lying flat on his back, almost docile, as the good doctor lubed up the dilator.

Marvin moaned quietly as it was slid into his ass, and he sighed, clenching around it as Schneep thrust with it, gently. 

“Mmm,” Marvin mumbled, and there was quiet noise. 

Schneep looked up - he’d been transfixed, as he carefully fucked the dilator in and out of Marvin.

“Are you ready for the next one?”

Schneep kept his voice quiet.

A thumbs up.

* * * 

And so it went.

Dilator after dilator, condom after condom, more and more lube.

Schneep ended up using the biggest one carefully, sliding it in and out of Marvin’s tight hole, and Marvin moaned and gasped like he was being paid for it, squirming on the table. 

“Marvin,” said Schneep, as he worked the dildo in and out, “Marvin, this is the last one.”

Marvin paused. and then did something with his jaw, so that the handkerchief was resting on his chin, not in his mouth. 

His hands were still tangled in his hair, which was a sweaty, tangled mess by now.

“Do it,” said Marvin, and he was panting, his cock hard and throbbing in the condom.

“What do you want me to?”

“You said you had, uh, you had a speculum?”

“I do have an anal speculum,” Schneep said. “I can use that, and I can fist you. Or I can just fist you. It’s up to you.”

“Do you have anything larger?”

Schneep held up his hand, made a fist.

“... point,” said Marvin, and he laughed, a little unsteadily.

“So what would you like?” 

“I’d like you to use the speculum,” said Marvin. “And, uh, and then, I’d like… I’d like for you to use your fist on me.”

“Alright,” said Schneep. “This is just going to take a minute or two to get things ready, okay?”

“Okay,” said Marvin, and he lay back, one hand going to his cock to give it a squeeze.

It was beginning to go soft in the condom, and Schneep was meticulous, to make sure it stayed in place.

And then there was the speculum.

The thing looked like some kind of torture device out of the Spanish Inquisition.

Anti had made a joke about the pear of agony when he’d seen it, because of course he had. 

But Schneep was slathering it with lube, and he was carefully sliding the speculum into Marvin, and opening it carefully.

“Oh,” said Marvin, and he sounded… almost scared.

Excited, but scared. 

“Are you okay?” 

Marvin pulled the gag out again, and he looked up at Jack with those big blue eyes of his, licking his lips.

Marvin was bad with eye contact - he was probably used to people paying more attention to the mask.

Come to think of it, that might have been why he had started to wear the mask in the first place.

But Schneep carefully cranked the speculum a little more open, and then he slathered his gloved hand in lube, bringing it down to trace around Marvin’s hole.

Marvin was already gaping, and he was shaking.

“How you doing there?”

Marvin had his gag in his mouth again, and he was covering his face with both hands, fingers twisting in his bangs.

Marvin gave a shaky thumbs up.

“Are you ready for my hand?”

Marvin nodded, his eyes squeezed shut.

* Schneep started with two fingers. 

With the speculum, it was easy - he slid three, four fingers in, no problem.

Marvin’s legs were shaking, and he’d completely lost his erection.

“How are you doing?”

Another thumbs up.

“Good boy,” Schneep said, before he had a chance to think about what he was saying.

Marvin blushed, and he twitched around Schneep’s hand.

… hmm.

Schneep would have to investigate that at a later date.

But for now, he added a fourth finger, and then he was pulling his hand out again, to add more lube, and he had his whole hand inside of Marvin.

Marvin was making quiet, needy little noises, and then Schneep was closing his hand, and he was moving it carefully.

“Oh,” Marvin said again, and he was squirming, just enough to make the speculum make some slightly unsettling noises.

“Marvin,” Schneep said, “you need to stay still, okay?”

Another shaky thumbs up.

“Very good,” said Schneep, and he clenched his fist again.

Marvin went very, very still, his mouth wide open, and his chest was rising and falling with each breath.

His cock was soft against his belly.

Marvin’s cock twitched.

Marvin cried out, and shifted again.

The speculum creaked again.

Hmm…..

“I’m going to take the speculum out of you,” said Schneep, his voice quiet.

“Do you have to?”

“You are having trouble staying still,” Schneep said, “and I worry about the speculum hurting you.”

“I’ll stay still,” said Marvin. “I promise.”

His voice was garbled around the handkerchiefs.

“If you’re absolutely sure,” said Schneep. 

“I am,” Marvin said. “I promise.”

“Well, alright,” said Schneep, and he clenched his fist again.

To Marvin’s eternal credit, his breath hitched, but he otherwise stayed still.

His hands were in his hair, and he was yanking at it, trying not to wriggle too hard, as Schneep thrusted shallowly, awkwardly, careful not to hurt him.

And Marvin stayed stock still, as his cock got hard again, a little bit, then softened, and Marvin’s breathing went shallower and shallower, as Marvin’s hips began to inch off of the table, slowly, carefully.

And then Marvin came.

There wasn’t any fanfare, there was just.. Tightness, squeezing Schneep’s hand, and Schneep flexed his hand again, and Marvin cried out and kept cumming, filling the condom, and some of it was dribbling out of the condom, and Schneep sighed, because that was more cleanup.

Oh well.

First things first….

Schneep carefully pulled his hands out, and then he took the speculum, dumping it in the sink.

He pulled his glove off, and then he put a clean pair on, going to Marvin’s mouth and carefully taking the handkerchief out of Marvin’s mouth.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Marvin said, although he was shaking.

He was _really_ shaking, and Schneep made a sympathetic noise, wrapping his arms around Marvin’s middle and hugging him close, his hands on the back of Marvin’s head, so that Marvin could press his face into Schneep’s neck.

Marvin clutched at Schneep’s shirt, still shaking, and his legs were shaking as well.

“I didn’t know I could take that much,” Marvin said quietly, and his voice was faintly ticklish against Schneep’s skin, vibrating across it.

“Well, now you know,” Schneep said, and he kept his voice cheerful and silly. 

That seemed to be what Marvin needed more than anything else right now.

“I care take a whole fist,” Marvin said, and he sounded… faintly impressed with himself.

Huh.

“Yep!”

“Could you do that again?”

Marvin was blushing.

“If you’d like me to,” said Schneep.

“I’d like that,” said Marvin. “Um. I mean. If it’s not too weird.”

“As I said,” Schneep said, “I’m a doctor. I’ve seen just about everything. I am incredibly hard to freak out.”

“I feel like I should try now,” said Marvin, and he was grinning. “I’ll make something… disappear.”

“It doesn’t count as disappearing if it’s up your butt,” Schneep said, his tone dry. “And if it’s disappeared up your butt, we’ve got other things to worry about.”

Marvin snorted, but he had stopped shaking. 

* * * 

Schneep's next patient for the day was a little more... unusual.

"So you're...." 

"Jackieboy Man!" 

The onesie clad man flexed in front of Schneep, which was some feat, considering they were both sitting down. 

"And you've been feeling... well overall?"

It was a bit hard to read the guy's handwriting, honestly.

"I've been feeling well, yes," said the Jackieboy, and he was smiling in what could be interpreted as a nervous way.

"Is there anything in particular you'd like to talk about, before we begin?"

"What do you mean?"

"A lot of my patients like to use the time they spend here to confront fears, or to work through whatever issues it is that they've been dealing with."

"Oh," said Jackieboy. "Like... therapy?"

"Something like that," said Schneep. "As our particular life circumstances are more... unusual than others, we tend to tend to each other."

"... are you saying that I should go telling Anti what's been bothering me?"

Jackieboy looked somewhat worried.

Schneep couldn't blame him.

"Oh, no, no, nothing like that," Schneep said quickly. "Definitely not Anti. Who is an upstanding individual, in his own way," he added, almost as an afterthought.

Between the domino face mask and the hood, it was a bit hard to read Jackieboy's face, but he looked... skeptical.

"I'm sure you two have had your... disagreements," Schneep said, aware that he sounded like some kind of particularly weaselly diplomat. 

More silence.

"I'm a good guy," Jackieboy said eventually. "He's a bad guy. We don't exactly get on."

"You don't have to," Schneep said quickly. "Just as long as you're both civil, that's all that matters."

Sometimes, dealing with all of Jack's egos was a bit like herding cats. 

Or kindergartners.

Kindergarten cats.

... was that like a kindergarten cop?

Schneep must have been tired, if his brain was going into this many different directions at once.

Or maybe he was just tired, and slightly sexually frustrated.

Regardless.

"I know that you mentioned, on your form, that you have a phobia, but you're uncomfortable writing it down, and you wanted to discuss it in person?"

"... right," said Jackieboy, and now he was looking down and to the side, clearly blushing.

"I'm all ears," Schneep said, leaning back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap, more or less.

He was tired, but he was doing his best to appear refreshed and listening raptly. 

"I... I'm afraid of losing a fight," Jackieboy said, and he was blushing, still staring down at his fingers.

"Understandable," said Schneep. "It can be scary, to lose something."

"No, it's more than that," said Jackieboy. "I'm afraid of... of not being in control. Of someone hurting me in ways that I don't want them to."

And then he was blushing again, his whole face turning as red as his onesie.

"Hurting you in ways you don't like," Schneep repeated. "Versus hurting you in ways you do like?"

"... forget I said anything," Jackieboy mumbled, and he was avoiding eye contact.

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying masochism," Schneep said, trying to keep his voice calm. "It's perfectly natural."

"Well, yeah, spanking, stuff like that," said Jackieboy. "Everyone likes that."

_Not necessarily_ , thought Schneep, but there was a time and a place for corrections, and this didn't seem to be it.

So he let Jackieboy keep talking. 

"No, this is more like... you know, like... being choked. Or being just... fucked. By someone who's just rough with me, who just uses me to get off, not necessarily because they want me to get off. Or maybe they want me to get off, but they don't care how I get off, just that I do."

Schneep nodded.

Jackieboy man kept talking.

It seemed that Schneed had unleashed a bit of a torrent.

"And then when I think about that stuff, at... at first, at first it was scary and weird and I didn't like it, but now I'm beginning to have, you know, dreams about it, where someone fucks me really roughly and chokes me and I get off on it really hard, I keep waking up with my sheets all sticky, and I know logically that it's perfectly natural to have weird fantasies, especially when you deal with... you know, criminals all the time, I worry that they'd beginning to rub off on me."

Jackieboy man caught his breath, and it really was amazing how easily Schneep could tell that the superhero was embarrassed.

"Alright," said Schneep, after he took a moment to absorb all of the talking that had rained down on him. "Would you like me to address all of the concerns you brought up?"

"... if you can, and it's not too weird?'

"It's definitely weird," said Schneep. "Plenty of people have fantasies about giving up control. It's one of the most common sexual fantasies out there."

"I worry it means that I'm not taking my superheroing seriously," said Jackieboy.

"Oh, far from it," said Schneep. "It's a sign that you're taking it very seriously, as it is obviously beginning to eat into your relaxation time, if you're at the point where you are having fantasies about the tables being turned. It is also perfectly natural to be curious about how other things work out, for the metaphorical "other half.""

"And what about the... the rough sex, and the choking?"

Schneep shrugged.

"Plenty of people enjoy those things," said Schneep. "Asphyxiation can enhance orgasm, and roughness is all relative."

"... sometimes i want to be tied up," said Jackieboy, in a very quiet voice.

"Also totally natural," Schneep reassured him. "Just about everyone has forayed into that." He chuckled. 'Look at the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon!" 

"I thought that was just for bored, horny housewives," Jackieboy said, and he managed to sound... well, not _too_ dismissive.

Schneep gave Jackieboy an eyebrow up.

"It was popular for a reason," he said. "Even if it wasn't very good."

Jackieboy nodded.

"So you're saying... there isn't anything wrong with me?"

"As far as I can tell, having not done a thorough examination on you, there is nothing wrong with you," said Schneep. 

"And if there were something wrong me with me?"

"I would tell you," said Schneep. "I promise." 

"... okay," said Jackieboy. "So now what?"

"Well," said Schneep, "I am going to need to examine you, and then, if you'd like, I can help you explore your feelings in regards to being choked and being helpless."

"... you'd do that?"

Jackieboy looked anxious, but his face was breaking out into a huge smile.

"Of course," said Schneep. "It is, after all, related to your health and wellness!"

* * *

Jackieboy's checkup was a little different.

Due to his superhero abilities, Schneep had to use a different set of instruments, and even still, it gave Schneep a bit of a heart attack, as he checked Jackieboy's vitals, taking down notes.

It was also a pain getting a blood sample, although he got there eventually.

Since Jackieboy was a lot more cooperative than Anti was (wets cats were more cooperative than Anti was), Schneep already had a decent amount of information about Jackieboy's bodily functions.

They were not exactly the same as a regular, non superhero human.

But he was doing pretty well, all things considered.

He stood, sans mask, sans onesie, sans anything but his own skin and a paper gown, and he still managed to look heroic.

It was impressive.

"Right," said Schneep. "So before we try anything sexual, I am going to give you a prostate exam."

"How is that not sexual?" 

Jackieboy sounded borderline hysterical - or at least, more anxious than he needed to be.

"I will not be doing it to give you pleasure," Schneep said, trying to keep his tone firm. "I am doing it to make sure that your prostate is in good health."

"I'm pretty sure it's in good health," Jackieboy said, although he bent down over the edge of the table anyway, his face in his crossed arms. 

"There's only one way to find out," Schneep said, as he put on a new pair of gloves and squeezed lube onto his two fingers. "Now... this is going to be cold."

"Bring it on," said Jackieboy. "I've been to the Poles. I know how cold things can get."

"What were you doing in the Poles?"

"... it's a long story," said Jackieboy, and then he squeaked, because Schneep's fingers were inside of his ass, and that must have been a bit of a shock, because he was getting tight around Schneep's fingers.

"Shhh," Schneep said, and he reaching his other hand up, resting it in Jackieboy's hair.

"Oh," Jackieboy said, and he sighed, then made the visible, conscious effort to relax, his face still in his arms.

"There you go," Schneep said, his voice soothing. "It's alright. I'm just checking."

Jackieboy's cock was firming up, as Schneep felt around inside of him carefully, until he was curling his fingers, equally carefully, and Jackieboy was shuddering.

"Yep," Jackieboy said thickly. "That's my prostate."

Schneep massaged it carefully, tapping it with the tip of his finger, and Jackieboy's knees shuddered.

"Oh god," Jackieboy said, his voice going guttural.

"So how does it feel?"

Schneep kept his tone calm, almost _silly_ , because he had to admit, this was kind of cute.

Jackieboy was so full of excitement in day to day life, and seeing him go weak in the knees was just... well, cute. 

You didn't expect it. 

"It's... full, and it's... oh god, yes, it's working, fucking...."

Schneep snickered, and he withdrew his fingers, patting Jackieboy on the hip.

"Good job," he told Jackieboy. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Jackieboy, flushing dark red, shook his head. 

"Now," said Schneep, "are you ready to confront your fears?"

"... bring it on," said Jackieboy, and he licked his lips. "How are we going to do this?"

"You want it rough, and you want to be choked, right?"

"... I want to give up control," said Jackieboy, and he was flushing some more. "Is that... I mean, is there a way that we could do that?"

"There is most _definitely_ a way we can do that," Schneep assured Jackieboy. "In fact, there are multiple ways that we can do that!"

"And you don't think it's too weird?"

Schneep almost wanted to tell him about the vomit.

But that would be breaking doctor/patient confidentiality, and anyway, it would have been weird to tell that story.

"I can promise you, it's not that weird," Schneep said, lacking anything else to say. 

* * *

It took some finagling. 

A good deal of finagling, truth be told.

Schneep ended up using the restraints that he'd used on Anti, rearranged a bit, so that Jackieboy was bent over the exam table, his face in the paper across the bottom of it, his wrists tied to the other side by means of the restraints.

Jackieboy's ass was sticking straight in the air, and his cock was already hard and drooling pre, as Schneep circled around him, just looking.

The superhero was very pretty.

They were all of them very pretty, if a bit creepy in the way that they all looked alike, but some things couldn't be helped, and anyway, Jackieboy was probably in the best shape, out of all of them.

Probably something to do with all of the parkour he did in his day to day life. 

Even with his enhanced superhero muscles, he had to exercise a lot.

Jackieboy's hole was still wet with lube, and his calves were tight, as he trembled, just standing there, bent over the table. 

"Are you going to... I mean...."

Jackieboy's voice was rough.

"Shush," said Schneep. "You said you wanted me to be in control, didn't you?"

"... yes."

"Well, part of me being in control is accepting when and how I do things."

"... right," said Jackieoy, although his voice was still rough. 

"Good boy," said Schneep, and then he was pressing against Jackieboy, nuzzling into one pale shoulder.

He was still wearing his gloves, but he had taken off his lab coat and his shirt, leaving him in just his scrubs.

He was even barefoot. 

"Now," said Schneep, and he tried to purr it, right in Jackieboy's ear, "now, how about we get started, hm?"

Jackieboy went weak in the knees, and he nodded desperately.

"I'm going to put one of my fingers in your mouth," Schneep said, "and I'm going to choke you with my other hand. When you need to breathe, I need you to bite down on my finger. Can you do that?"

Jackieboy nodded.

"What do you do when you want me to let go of your throat?"

"I bite down on your finger."

"Very good," said Schneep.

Jackieboy was completely naked - they'd discarded the paper gown at some point, and his skin was very warm.

"Oh," Jackieboy whined, as Schneep wrapped one big hand around his throat, squeezing gently.

His breath wheezed out of his throat, and Schneep's own cock jumped.

Schneep was a mess already, sexually frustrated, pent up from all of the teasing and fucking he'd done to other people today.

It would be nice to relieve some of the pressure that was building up in the back of his head.

And oh, but Jackieboy was strong - the restraints were creaking.

But they held, and then there was a little starburst of pain on Schneep's finger, and Schneep let go, so that Jackieboy could gasp out another breath.

"Please, please," Jackieboy was _begging_ , shaking against Schneep, and Schneep grinned, pressing his face into Jackieboy's neck, running his gloved hands up and down Jackieboy's sides and his belly, as Jackieboy shuddered under him.

"Please what?"

"Please, hurt me, please, I need...."

"You need to stop asking," Schneep said. "Remember? You are giving up control."

"Right, right," said Jackieboy. "Sorry."

"It's alright," Schneep said. "You're getting used to it. But I want you to know, right now, that I am in control. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Jackieboy said, although he sounded a bit shaky.

"Very good," said Schneep, and he ran a finger along Jackieboy's back.

Just as hairy as all of them, although he was a lot more scarred up than the other egos.

Probably all of the superhero stuff that he got up to.

He moaned and shivered under Schneep's ministrations, and Schneep smiled.

It was nice, seeing someone so sensitive in spite of everything.

And then Schneep was pressing himself against Jackieboy's back, his breath warm and humid against Jackieboy's neck, as Jackieboy shuddered, his eyes squeezed shut.

He was grinding back against Schneep, and Schneep took the time to grind forward - his cock was tender and keyed up from all of the things he'd been doing already - between sucking cock and fucking two different people with his hands... was it really any wonder?

Although knowing his next patient, it would probably be best if he kept to using both of his hands.

Schneep bit back a groan, and he pulled away.

Jackieboy whined, no doubt missing the warmth, and then Schneep slapped him on the ass.

It wasn't entirely a planned thing, but it was such a _nice_ ass, and it jiggled when Schneep slapped it, and how could he not.

Jackieboy squealed, and he wriggled his hips.

"What do you want?"

Schneep's voice was actually... rough.

Wow.

"I want... I want you to fuck me. Please."

"How do you want me to fuck you?"

"Any way you want, , just... plus, I need to... I need...."

"What do you need?"

"Please," Jackieboy bawled out, and Schneep grinned.

"Very good," he told Jackieboy, and then he slid his hand down, two fingers going back into Jackieboy's ass, his other hand going around Jackieboy's neck.

"I'm going to choke you," Schneep said, "and I'm going to fuck you with my hand. When you need me to stop choking you, I want you to shake your head. Do you understand."

Jackieboy nodded.

"Now shake your head."

Jackieboy did so.

"Very good," said Schneep, and he squeezed with one hand, and curled his fingers at the same time, so that Jackieboy would connect the two feelings.

Schneep squeeze with his fingers carefully - Jackieboy's pulse was racing under Schneep's fingertips, around Schneep's other fingers, as Schneep pressed down on his prostate, fingers thrusting and squeezing in tandem.

Jackieboy was going stiff, and he was wheezing like he had been running up a flight of stairs.

The sound of it was enough to make Schneep horny, and his own cock was already hard, beginning to throb and leak pre in his pants.

It was all very... intense, in a way that Schneep wasn't entirely expecting.

Sure, he was a doctor, but he wasn't usually in charge to the degree that he was.

He took care of people, true, but... he literally had Jackieboy's life in his own hands, and if he squeezed too hard, he could kill him.

And now Jackieboy was shaking his head, and Schneep let go of him, so that he could take a deep, gasping breath, before Schneep was choking him again, his fingers beginning to move faster.

He began to _fuck_ Jackieboy, not just finger him, using the muscles in his arm to make things more interesting, forcing Jackieboy forward, and Jackieboy was moaning brokenly, using the tiny amount of air that Schneep was affording him.

Schneep was panting as well, and he was keeping up a string of general dirty talk, as he watched Jackieboy's dick bob, drooling out more pre.

"You're being such a good boy like this, giving up control," he said. "Such a good boy, just taking it and taking it, isn't that nice? Are you enjoying yourself? I think you are, I can feel you shaking, you're going to cum very soon, you're squeezing my fingers so tightly. Next time, I'll use a real cock on you, and you can cum around it, I bet that'll feel amazing for you...."

And then Jackieboy came.

He came like a fountain, and Schneep let go of his throat, so that he could breathe, deep, gasping breaths, before he went limp again, his face in his arms, his chest rising and falling as he drew in more and more breath.

"Hi," Schneep said, and he pulled his finger out carefully, removing the glove. "How are you doing?"

"G-g-good," said Jackieboy. "I feel... I feel at peace."

"That's good," said Schneep. "How about I untie you, you can get dressed, and then we can discuss other ways for you to find some stress relief on your own?"

"Sounds good," Jackieboy mumbled, his voice still light and airy, if a bit scratchy from the choking.

* * * 

Schneep's second to last client was a bit more... unorthodox. 

It wasn't that Schneep didn't have any experience with people who were mute - far from it! 

But signing took up a different part of his brain, and it usually took him a few minutes to properly "orient" himself, which was always awkward. 

"How have you been feeling?"

Schneep sat across from Jameson, who had taken his hat off. 

_Doing well_ , Jameson signed. _Can't complain._

"You were sick recently," said Schneep. "Have you recovered?" 

_Yep!_ Jameson signed enthusiastically. _Pretty much back at a hundred percent!_

"So has anything in particular been bothering you?" 

Jameson shrugged.

_It can be a bit hard to communicate,_ he signed. _Especially since so many people don't really understand sign. But my videos are getting more popular!_

"That's good," said Schneep. "What have you been doing videos on?"

_Mainly some "how to sign" type things,_ signed Jameson. _Also planning some cooking!_

... how was that going to work?

Schneep had seen Jameson at meals, where he tried to sign and eat his food at the same time.

It was usually a bit of a mess.

But then again, he used subtitles in his videos, which helped. 

_So am I healthy, Doc?_

Schneep's name sign, a "D" across the chest to imitate Schneep's stethoscope, looked particularly jaunty today.

"You're doing well, Jameson," said Schneep. "How have you been feeling emotionally?"

_Pretty good, pretty good,_ said Jameson. _Been a bit lonely, honestly._

He paused, blushing, and then put his hands in his lap - he might have had more to say, but he didn't seem comfortable saying it.

"Yes? I'm sure there are meet ups, or websites where you could meet someone," said Schneep.

_I suppose_ , signed Jameson. _I think I mainly miss... physical intimacy. And because of the strangeness of my own interests, I suspect that others might find me...._ His hands hung in the air for a moment, as he clearly tried to think of the right thing to say. _Offputting_ , he signed at last.

Schneep had to work very hard not to roll his eyes. 

He'd had some version of this conversation how many times already?

How could so many people be this insecure about their own sexual interests?

"Your interests are not that outlandish," said Schneep. "I mean, there are many people who talk about their interest in the smell of a woman and all of that."

_Yeah, when you have serial killers,_ Jameson said, and he made a face. 

He spelled out a series of names on his fingers in rapid succession, and Schneep only caught bits and pieces of them; B-U-F-F-A E-D-G-E-I T-E-D-B-U-N-D. 

Schneep caught the basic gist.

"They were mainly considered to be creepy because they went too far," Schneep said, in what he hoped was a reassuring tone of voice. "Also, Buffalo Bill wasn't a real serial killer."

Jameson's eyebrows went up.

_What, really?_

"I believe so," said Schneep. "He's a composite of a few real life serial killers."

_So the movie isn't in bad taste,_ signed Jameson, and he looked vaguely relieved.

"I mean, I would argue that it is in the first place," said Schneep. 

Hopefully he didn't look too... guilty.

Although he knew he had no reason to be guilty.

Still.

_You just don't like horror movies_ , Jameson signed, and now he looked... downright cheerful.

Schneep envied it a bit - he wished he could bounce back from a bad mood that quickly. 

"They always get the anatomy wrong," said Schneep, and he sniffed, putting on an affronted look.

Jameson cackled - his laughter had a sound, although it was always a lot louder than you expected, considering how quiet he was the rest of the time.

Schneep had made a few inquiries into Jameson’s muteness, but, well... it's one of those things that's just rude to poke people about, unless they explicitly brought up that it was distressing them.

As Jameson didn't seem distressed by it, Schneep didn't pursue it. 

_You're just a purist, Doc. Admit it!_

"Maybe I'm a bit of a purist," Schneep admitted, "but I think that there are plenty of better movies out there."

_There's always gonna be a better movie out there,_ signed Jameson. Then he made a face. _Do you really need to stick a finger up my arse?_

He actually spelled it out - A-R-S-E. 

"Unfortunately, yes," said Schneep. "Good prostate health is part of good health in general, as I'm sure you know."

Jameson made a face.

_It always feels strange,_ he signed.

"I'll do my best to make it as quick as possible," Schneep said.

_I know,_ Jameson signed. _I appreciate it, Doc._

"Of course," said Schneep, and he rubbed his hands together. "Shall we?"

* * * 

Of course, before the prostate exam, Schneep had to check other things.

He did an eye test, a hearing test, a reflex test.

Jameson's lungs and chest were clear, even if he did make an indignant noise when the cold stethoscope touched his bare skin. 

And Jameson seemed to be enjoying the chance to be touched by someone else - he gave a little shiver every time their skin brushed, and he was sighing, his chest rising and falling.

"Are you alright?"

Schneep shot him a concerned look.

Jameson gave a thumbs up, then his expression got thoughtful. 

_I've been... um. I don't know the sign._

"Try to explain it? Or combine two words?"

_Touch hungry? Skin starving?_

"I think I understand," said Schneep. "Do you miss being around another body?"

_Something like that, yes,_ signed Jameson.

"I can... offer you some physical comfort," Schneep said, and he was blushing, just a bit.

It was hard not to - offering any kind of physical intimacy, beyond his standard Doctor-Patient relationship, was a bit... much. 

But he was as much an ego as the rest of them, and they were all connected, in some inexplicable way, and it wasn't like Schneep was going to be unsafe.

Jameson grinned a bit. 

_Thanks for indulging my perversion,_ Jameson signed.

“It’s hardly a perversion,” said Schneep. “Now, I need you to bend over for me.”

Jameson made a face, but did as instructed.

He was as naked as everyone else was, as hairy, and his skin was soft, even through the gloves.

Schneep’s fingers slid into him easily, although Jameson still made a noise of distress.

Schneep rested his other hand on Jameson’s lower back, as he felt around delicately.

Yes, there was the prostate.

Jameson made a low noise in the back of his throat when it was pressed, but Schneep tried to keep it quick, tapping it a few times, asking questions, getting awkwardly signed answers back.

“You’re good,” he told Jameson, pulling his fingers out and taking his gloves off, tossing them.

He put a new pair of gloves on and turned around, to see Jameson looking at him thoughtfully. 

“Is something the matter?”

_Do you want to kiss me?_

It was such a simple question, at the end of it all, although Jameson kept his two hands together a little longer than he needed to, for the sign for “kiss.” 

“If you’d like to be kissed,” said Schneep.

He was usually a bit cagey about being kissed - he didn’t want to get sick, and sometimes it felt like everyone was some kind of disease vector these days. 

Jameson shrugged, and he turned his face towards Schneep’s, until they were breathing each other’s breath.

Schneep kissed Jameson, and it was… it was nice.

It was wet and it was warm and it was familiar, in a way that he hadn’t realized he missed, until they were pressed together closer, breathing each other’s breath, and Jameson was just… clinging to Schneep, his fingers tangled in Schneep’s shirt, his lab coat.

And then… Jameson was nuzzling into Schneeps’ neck, and of course.

It was like any other partner, in some ways, apart from Jameson’s… thing for scent.

Which wasn’t that weird, despite what Jameson thought.

And he was taking deep, snuffling breaths of Schneep’s scent - the smell of his office, his soap, the antiseptic that he put on his hands. 

Jameson’s fingers were spelling something against Schneep’s side, although Schneep couldn’t tell what it was, until he pulled back, watching Jameson’s fingers moving slowly.

_B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L,_ Jameson signed, and he looked a little sheepish.

Schneep blushed, and he let himself be pushed against his exam table, as Jameson kissed him again, kissing down his neck, then down to Schneep’s shoulder.

He pressed his face into Schneep’s underarm, and he took an audible sniff, shuddering like he’d been shocked.

His cock was already hard against Schneep’s knees, and Schneep moaned.

He was already hard, already leaking just a bit into his scrubs.

He’d have to wash these as well.

He really was a mess right now.

But that was how Jameson liked him, and there was something… nice about it.

Remembering that he was a human being, that he was just as disgusting as his patients sometimes.

… not that he thought that hs patients were disgusting, per se, but still.

And then Jameson was dropping to his knees in front of Schneep, his fingers going to the waistband of Schneep’s pants and pausing.

_I want to suck your cock,_ Jameson signed, only instead of using the signs for “suck your cock,” he mimed sucking a cock, opening his lips up and using his tongue to push his cheek out.

Schneep blushed.

“Sounds good,” Schneep said thickly. “Is there anything you want from me?”

_Just… let me enjoy you. Please._

Schneep kept eye contact with Jameson, and he nodded.

Jameson grinned, and he patted Schneep on the hip, shoving Schneep’s scrubs down, taking Schneep’s boxers with them, so that Schneep was effectively hobbled.

Jameson pressed his face forward, so that Schneeps’ cock was against his cheek, and his face was in Schneeps’ pubic hair. 

He took a deep breath, the warm air almost ticklish against Schneep’s skin, ruffling the wiry hair.

Jameson was signing more things against Schneep’s hip, or at least, he was signing the beginning of it, little twitches of his fingers, as if he was trying to spell something.

It was probably like people who mumbled and stuttered when they were experiencing sexual pleasure, come to think of it.

And Schneep’s toes were curling in his shoes, as Jameson leaned forward, pressing his face into Schneep’s groin, inhaling deeply.

Schneep was… a little gamey, it was true.

It had been a long day.

At least, hopefully, he didn’t still smell like vomit.

He knew Jameson didn’t like that scent.

But he was wrapping his mouth around Schneep’s balls, sucking them just hard enough that Schneep’s fingers were tightening in Jameson’s hair, and when had Schneep put them there in the first place?

_You smell so good_ , Jameson signed out clumsily, although he was avoiding Schneep’s eyes, keeping them on Schneep’s stomach.

He was always a little shy about this kink.

“You’re welcome,” Schneep said.

He wasn’t wearing a condom - he knew all of Jameson’s health details, and he wasn’t worried about catching anything.

All of the egos basically had the same template, albeit with variations, like Anti’s… being himself, to Jameson’s muteness.

But now Schneep was rolling his hips, because Jameson had slid a small finger under Schneep’s foreskin, rubbing the sensitive head of Schneep’s cock, and Schneep’s eyes were practically rolling back in his head.

And then Jameson was just swallowing Schneep’s cock down, sucking on it, bobbing his head.

He was definitely signing nonsense against Scneep’s hip, as he began to suck harder, bobbing his head and making obscene slurping noises.

Schneep was almost sobbing, as he rolled his hips forward, his hands still in Jameson’s hair.

He was trying not to be too loud himself - he’d be too embarrassed with himself if he was too noisy, even though literally nobody was going to care.

He let Jameson suck on him like a bottle of whiskey, trying not to thrust too hard or fast.

Jameson didn’t like gagging.

And then Jameson was letting go of Schneep’s cock to push his face back into Schneep’s groin, right under Schneep’s shaft, and he was just… inhaling, his eyes half shut, his other hand sliding between his legs to begin to jerk himself off.

It really was a good thing that he was naked, or else everything would be quite a mess.

Schneep was going to have to mop again, regardless.

Oh well.

And Jameson was jerking him off skillfully, thoughtfully, with those long, clever, delicate fingers of his.

Schneep’s eyes were rolling back in his head, and he was beginning to pant.

He was holding back remarkably well, as far as he was concerned.

He wasn’t exploding all over Jameson, despite how pent up he was, and here he was, panting, open mouthed, just taking the pleasure as it washed over him in wave after wave, trying to make his words make sense.

Was he speaking?

He glanced down at Jameson, and saw that the other man’s eyes were shut, as he licked lower, along Schneep’s perineum, and okay, that was… that was kind of uncomfortable, especially in that particular position, but he was inhaling, and he was doing _something_ with his tongue that was… holy fuck.

Schneep was gasping, and he was shuddering, his mouth gaping open as he groaned and moaned, just taking in the pleasure. 

“Oh god,” he mumbled. “Oh _god_!” 

Jameson held the base of Schneep’s cock, and he just… squeezed it, hard enough that Schneep’s encroaching orgasm backed off, at least for a few more minutes.

“You’re pretty good at that, aren’t you?”

Schneep was pretty sure that his accent was coming out thicker than usual.

He couldn’t bring himself to care.

There was a curious finger tracing the very edge of his hole, and he let himself relax, let Jameson probe him gently. 

He wouldn’t go any deeper than that - not without lube and gloves - but it was still another thing to add to Schneep’s already overloaded nerves.

Jameson hadn’t been kidding about being touch starved - he was clinging to Schneep with both hands, getting every bit of skin to skin contact that he could, as he breathed heavily, bobbing his head again, as he took Schneep’s cock back into his hot, wet mouth.

Schneep was panting and he was sobbing, the pleasure beginning to build at the base of his spine, bringing his balls up towards his body, as his toes curled in his shoes, as he began to shake, his orgasm on the very edge of his senses. 

He was going to cum so hard, he was going to make such a mess - it had been building and building, as he got closer and closer.

His heart was chugging like a steam engine in his chest, and his mouth was dry from where he was panting, as he struggled to stay still, trying not to get any mess on Jameson’s already drool covered face, as Jameson deep throated him again, no doubt trying to get his face back into Schneep’s stomach, to get more of that scent that he craved so badly.

Whatever that scent was, that he wanted so badly.

Maybe it was a sign of how lonely Jameson was feeling.

Or maybe it was just that he had a fetish or a kink, like all of the other people who had been in the office today.

Schneep had wondered about that, idly, when he’d considered all of this.

He didn’t entirely… understand olfactophilia, but then again, he didn’t really understand emetophilia either, when it came down to it.

He didn’t have to understand a fetish or a kink to be wililng to go along with it.

And he was very much reaping the benefits of this kink, even if it was in a way that was a bit… unusual. 

Jameson pulled off of Schneep’s cock again, and Schneep had to bite back the needy whine that was trying to crawl up his throat, biting his tongue.

Let Jameson have his fun.

In his own weird way, Schneep was just as a fetish object.

He was like a speculum or a TENS unit - just a thing that was helping Jameson get off.

But then again, Jameson liked Schneep.

The two of them got drinks together sometimes, they exchanged books.

How strange it was, to be the object of someone’s desire, with the key word being “object.”

Schneep sighed, lost in his head again, as Jameson licked and sucked along Schneep’s shaft, and then he had Schneeps’ cock in his mouth and again, and he was doing something withis tongue that made Schneep’s knees nearly buckle.

“I’m gonna cum,” Schneep panted. “Gonna cum, gonna… I’m… oh….”

He came.

More precisely, he came all over Jameson’s face, and okay, that was a little bit embarrassing, but fuck it.

He looked down, and Jameson’s expression was… downright beatific.

His eyes were closed, and he had tilted his head back, presumably to get the most coverage from Schneep’s ejaculate.

Which, okay, kind of gross, all things considered. 

But Jameson was clearly into it.

He was licking it, and he was inhaling the scent of it, and he was clearly very, very into it. 

He was panting, open mouthed, and he looked up at Schneep.

And then he was sitting back, and he was wrapping his hand around his cock, taking some of the cum off of his face and using it as lube to jerk himself off, his hips jerking forward, leaving the floor as he humped his fist, moaning like he was being paid for it.

His voice was rough, but it was there, and he cried out like a thing in pain when he came.

A few drops of his cum ended up on Schneep’s foot, because of course it did.

Jameson lay back against floor, and then he made a face.

“You alright?”

Schneep bent down in front of him, resting on his haunches.

_C-O-L-D,_ Schneep spelled out, clearly too tired to actively sign whatever else was going on in his head. 

“Could’ve told you that,” Schneep said, his voice amused.

Jameson gave him the finger, which didn’t need any interpreting.

* * *

And then it was Schneep’s last client of the day.

A special client. 

Schneep actually gave himself a quick wipe down, and changed his scrubs.

And in came Jack.

The template upon which the rest of them had been built upon.

Schneep tried not to look nervous.

He smiled at Jack, and Jack smiled back, looking cool and relaxed.

“Nice to see you, doctor,” said Jack.

“Nice to see you too, Jack,” said Schneep. “How are you feeling?”

“Been feeling pretty good,” said Jack, and he leaned back in his chair, his hands behind his head.

His long body stretched, and his back made some interesting noises.

“You need to not hunch over like that,” Schneep said, aware that he was taking on a lecturing tone of voice, not sure how to turn it off.

Jack, to his eternal credit, looked sheepish.

“I’m sorry,” he told Schneep. “I can’t help it. It’s mostly habit.”

“It’s a bad habit,” said Schneep. 

“I know,” said Jack.

“So how have you been feeling?”

Schneep looked down at his clipboard, as he began to take notes.

“I’ve been feeling alright,” said Jack. “Just a bit… stretched thin, if that makes sense.”

“Stretched thin?”

“Tired,’ said Jack, “but more than just tired. Like I’ve been overdoing things, only I’m not sure, exactly, what it is that I’m overdoing.”

“Probably your regular workload is wearing you down,” said Schneep, and he made a sympathetic noise. 

“I used to be able to take it,” Jack said, and he sounded… downright plaintive.

“I know,” Schneep said, and he tried to sound soothing. “Maybe you just need a recharge.”

“A recharge?”

“A vacation, something like that,” said Schneep. “It wouldn’t hurt you to try it, would you?”

“I’ll have a vacation coming… in a few months,” Jack said, and he laughed, clearly self conscious. “It’s just… you know, I think you’re right. It is some kind of exhaustion. I just end up feeling like I have to be “on” all the time, no matter what I’m doing.”

Schneep nodded.

He could understand that, at least somewhat. 

“Like, I love my fans,” Jack said, and he leaned back into the chair, finally beginning to really relax, the nervous energy flitting out of him.

He wasn’t even fidgeting anymore, which was a miracle.

“Yes?”

“But… sometimes I feel like they want everything from me. I can almost feel their expectations on me, and I don’t always know how to deal with that. Sometimes I’m not sure how much of me is me anymore, and how much of me is just… what they think I am, or what they wish I was. Am?” 

“Was,” Schneep supplied. 

“Yeah,” said Jack, “although I also feel like I can’t really complain about it. Because my problem seems to literally be that too many people care about me.”

“I dunno,” said Schneep. “It sounds like it would just be kind of exhausting in general, to alway be expected to be a certain way.”

Jack nodded, and he sighed.

“Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just… kind of be selfish sometimes,” said Jack.

He was blushing, as if he was admitting the greatest secret of his life.

… then again, Jack being Jack, it might have been his greatest secret.

Jack wore his feelings on his face, and they chased each other like clouds in an open sky. 

He mainly looked ashamed, mixed with a bit of exhaustion. 

“You can’t work yourself to death,” Schneep said firmly. “That would make you very unhappy.”

He didn’t know what that would do to the egos, either.

In theory, they could keep existing, if Jack stopped existing. 

He didn’t want to find out.

“I’m not worried about working myself to death,” Jack said. “Just working myself to burn out.”

“Would you like a chance to be selfish?”

Jack blinked at Schneep, confused. 

“What are you offering?”

“When you are finished with your examination, I could give you some… pampering,” said Schneep, aware that he sounded kind of silly, not sure how to turn it off.

“What kind of pampering are we talking about, exactly?”

“Whatever you’d like,” said Schneep. “If you’d like, I can sexually pleasure you, I can take care of you like a child or a pet for half an hour or so, I can hurt you in a safe way, if that would make you feel better, I can show you how to safely hurt me, if you think that that would help you.

Jack looked… genuinely shaken up, which Schneep hadn’t expected.

… shit.

“I have said something inappropriate,” Schneep hazarded, as he tried to understand whatever it was that Jack’s face was doing.

“No, no,” Jack said. “That was just very… it was a lot more generous than I was expecting. My regular doctor wouldn’t offer something like that.”

Schneep shrugged.

“I am not a regular doctor,” Scheep said. 

“That we can agree on,” Jack said, and he laughed. 

“So do you know what you would like?”

“How about you get the doctoring bits done, and from there I can see what I would like?” 

“Alright,” said Schneep. “But again, all of my offers remain.”

“... thank you,” said Jack, and he sounded like he was going to cry.

Jack must have been feeling especially emotionally overdrawn, if he was getting weepy over something as simple as this.

Then again, Schneep had been there. 

Overdoing it tended to knock anyone off of their feet.

“So shall we begin?”

“Let’s do this shit,” said Jack, wearing an expression that was still somewhat distant, as if he was trying to remember something that he wasn’t sure he had forgotten.

* * * *

So Schneep examined Jack.

Jack, upon whose body they were all based, in one way or another.

He was different from each of them, of course, but he was also familiar, the way everyone else hadn’t… entirely been.

And Schneep was faithful in taking care of him. 

He checked and double checked everything, even went so far as to breathe on the stethoscope in order to warm it up, and did his best to make everything as comfortable as possible.

“I….”

Jack opened his mouth to say something, after Schneep had looked at his tonsils.

“Hmm?”

“Never mind,” Jack mumbled, and he broke eye contact.

“No, no,” Schneep said. “I insist. Please. Tell me.”

“... could you make me feel good?” 

Jack was staring down at his hands, and he was blushing so hard that his ears were red.

“Of course,” Schneep said. “What would you like?”

“I’d like you to… after, you know, after the… prostate thing, I’d like you to….” Jack was blushing, and he cleared his throat.

“Yes?”

“Would you be able to… you know, use your… mouth? On me?”

“Of course,” said Schneep.

“On my… on my butt,” said Jack, and he cleared his throat. “If that’s not too gross.”

“Hardly,” said Schneep. “Would you be bothered if I used a dental dam?”

“Why would I be?”

Schneep shrugged.

“Some people don’t like them,” he told Jack.

“I don’t mind them,” sadi Jack, and he smiled, shy. “And, um. Can it be… can it be against a wall?”

“Certainly,” said Schneep. “Let me just… get you situated.”

* * * 

Jack was bending into the wall, and he had his face in his arms, which he had crossed, so that he could press his face into them.

And Schneep was sliding his fingers into Jack’s ass.

It was hot, tight, grasping, and Jack moaned and squirmed, just a bit.

His cock was already beginning to get hard, and there was a little bit of pride from that - he was giving Jack an erection, he was going to make Jack feel good, he was already making Jack feel good!

And then he found Jack’s prostate, and he tapped it, gently, with the pad of his finger.

Jack shuddered, and he moaned, his head tilting back, his mouth opening wider as he moaned.

Schneep smiled, and he pressed closer than was strictly necessary, beginning to kiss along Jack’s neck, along Jack’s back, gently little kisses.

“Oh,” Jack mumbled, and he was relaxing, slowly, carefully, almost imperceptibly. 

He saw Jack’s shoulders shake, and he pressed more kisses along his back, nuzzling into the wiry hair, then kissing lower.

He fingered Jack open carefully, delicately, and Jack shivered and shook over him, Jack’s cock twitching and drooling pre already, splattering down onto the floor.

“Shhh,” Schneep said, his voice quiet. “It’s okay.”

Jack was crying.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Don’t you fucking dare stop,” Jack said, his voice ragged.

It had been a while since he’d let anyone in… as it were.

In more than one way.

Maybe this was all symbolic in some way.

Or maybe Jack was just enjoying the chance to be taken care of, and not have to work on presenting the right face to everyone.

Schneep sighed, and he dropped to his knees, kissing and nibbling gently along Jack’s ass.

He’d left the dental dam nearby, thankfully, and then it was just a case of take off the glove, put on a new one, spread the dental dam out over Jack’s hole….

Jack had made a sad noise when Schneep removed his fingers, but he sobbed when Schneep held him open with both hands, tongue sliding into him through the dental dam.

He was still crying, and he was swearing, just a bit, a long string of obscenities that didn’t seem to make much sense.

They reminded Schneep of Jameson’s nonsense signs, as he had sucked Schneeps’ cock.

But now Schneep was using his whole face, the latex of the dental dam just a little bit sticky against his skin, smelling like… well, latex, and Jack’s own scent under it, as Schneep reached around.

He probably should have put a condom on Jack before he had started all of this - oh well.

But his glove hand wrapped around Jack’s cock, and he began to suck along the rim of Jack’s hole, clumsily, as he began to stroke Jack off in time with the movement of his tongue.

Jack shuddered, and his head tilted back, his mouth falling open.

“Oh… god,” Jack moaned, and it sounded more like a whine.

His voice was full of tears, and his knees were beginning to shake.

Schneep made an affirmative noise, wriggling his tongue, and he moved his hand down to play with Jack’s balls, gently, just enough that it made Jack squirm some more, sobbing harder.

Jack was mumbling… something or other. 

Schneep wasn’t sure, except for the fact that Jack couldn’t stop crying, but when Schneep made an enquiring noise, Jack just gave a thumbs up.

So Schneep went back to jerking him off, went back to eating his ass, and Schneep made pleasure noises of his own.

Schneep’s cock was beginning to get hard, and he was probably going to need to jerk off when he got home.

Oh well. 

He was half tempted to ask Jack about a good buggering, but no.

This was all about giving Jack pleasure, and this seemed to be exactly what Jack needed.

He shuddered and shook, and then he was crying out as he came all over Schneep’s glove, a bit of it getting on the wall, and okay, that was a little bit gross, but whatever, Schneep could clean it.

And then Jack was collapsing on the floor, curling around Schneep, and he was crying into Schneep’s shoulder, as Schneep rocked him, making soothing noises, rubbing Jack’s back.

“It’s okay,” Schneep said, as Jack sobbed like his heart was breaking. “I know. It’s hard. I know. I’m sorry.”

Jack kept crying, kept clutching at Schneep, the sobbing gradually dying down, until his shoulders were shaking, and he was actually… giggling.

“What’s so funny?”

Schneep pressed a nervous kiss to Jack’s forehead. 

He was still a bit new to the whole “showing affection openly in a non-awkward manner” thing, but Jack didn’t seem to mind so much. 

“I just feel kinda silly,” said Jack. “Like… this is all such a “poor little rich boy” kind of situation.”

Schneep shrugged.

“You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed, you know,” he told Jack. 

Jack sighed, leaning into Schneep’s shoulder.

“I know that logically,” he said into the soggy fabric, “but emotionally I still feel like a failure.”

“I’m sorry,” said Schneep.

“I’ll get over it eventually,” Jack said, and he made a face.

Then he brightened.

“That was fuckin’ amazing, Doc.”

“I live to serve,” said Schneep. 

* * * 

And then the day was over.

Well, over as far as the patients were concerned.

Schneep mopped the exam room (it wouldn’t be fair to expect the cleaning ladies to have to deal with all that spunk, after all), changed out of his scrubs into his street clothes, and made his way home.

it had been a productive, if exhausting day.

All of the fetish talk had put him in the mood for… well… for his own interests.

As it were.

And once again, it was another one of those circumstances where he _knew_ something was a perfectly reasonable - even common! - fetish to have, but he still felt some degree of unclean about it. 

“Physician, heal thyself,” he mumbled to himself, and he grinned a bit, as he unlocked his front door.

The egos all shared a house.

It made sense, what with one thing and another.

And okay, it made things crowded sometimes, and awkward at others, but for the most part, everything worked out.

And everyone was out tonight.

Schneep had explicitly checked on that. 

He was kind of… well, not to put too fine a point on it, he was pretty embarrassed about all of this.

He didn’t even know why - maybe some deep seated childhood something or other, although that opened its own can of worms that he didn’t want to look too closely at.

But regardless.

Here he was, a perfectly consenting adult, and he was going to… have some fun with himself, and then he was going to have dinner, and then he was going to go to bed, content in the fact that he had done a good job.

He was “socially fatigued,” as it is said, and what he needed now was some relaxation.

Some good… old fashioned… relaxation.

* * * 

Schneep sat in his bedroom, and he pulled a box out from under the bed.

It was an old footlocker, and it looked pretty nondescript.

To Schneep, it might as well have been painted scarlet, flashing with neon.

He opened it, his hands shaking, just a bit, and there… it was.

It looked awfully… well, truth be told, it didn’t look like much, piled up like that.

A pile of fabric, a bit of makeup, a pair of shoes.

But it meant the world to him.

Schneep licked his lips, looking down into the foot locker, and then he went to take a shower, because he wasn’t going to get all dolled up if he wasn’t also going to make himself nice and pretty for it.

He luxuriated in a long, hot shower, not having to worry about anyone banging on the door, not having to worry about anyone commenting on the scent of his body wash.

… okay, so nobody had caught on to it yet, but still.

He worried.

Sort of.

Thinking on it, nobody would actually care, especially considering all of them knew that he knew all of their deepest darkest secrets.

But still.

Schneep shaved - he shaved everything he could get away with, from his legs, all the way to his butt, to his groin. 

Shaving his butt took a lot of contorting, but he got it, more or less.

He even shaved his toes.

He’d never risk having his arms completely hairless - people would notice that.

The same with his chest.

At the same time, he didn’t always… want to be hairless.

Maybe he had some kind of complicated gender feelings that he needed to poke, or maybe he just liked experimenting a bit, once and a while.

After all, he was a man of science, and what is science, if not full of experimenting?

He smelled a lot better when he got out of the shower, and he felt more like himself as well.

His legs were silky smooth, and he’d even put in the effort to use the special shampoo on his hair.

He cleaned himself up on the inside as well, albeit without too much vigor - he’d had a good bowel movement before he left the office, and didn’t even need to give himself an enema beforehand. 

He was clean, smooth, and smelling nice, all over. 

He was ready.

* * * 

Makeup came first. 

A bit of lipstick, a bit of blush.

He was still intimidated by eye makeup, truth be told - there was something so… complicated about it, and he was worried about messing it up.

He’d also seen people get eye infections from badly applied eye makeup, and he didn’t want to take that risk. 

He was tempted to do something about his eyelashes - they could be fuller, although when he fluttered them right now, they looked long and lush. 

Then came the clothes.

He’d bought the bra on impulse once - it was what started this whole thing in the first place. It was a pretty thing, all pale pink lace, with a bow between the two cups.

It was really more like a training bra, but it suited his flat chest well.

The panties were the same shade of pink, and they practically whispered up his legs.

He already had an erection, as if he hadn’t cum a few hours earlier.

He wasn’t as young as he used to be - the days of six orgasms in the span of twelve hours were long gone.

Unfortunately. 

But he tucked his cock into his panties for now, and he paused, looking down the line of his own body.

He had long, lovely legs, and his cock looked smaller in the panties, less… intimidating. 

And then came the skirt - it was a short thing, not much more than a belt, as some people would look at it. 

It fluttered over the curve of his ass, and when Schneep turned around, it fluttered around him like the wings of a butterfly.

… he liked to spin in it.

Then came the shirt - a crop top.

It wasn’t the Dream Daddy one that Jack had, although he had been tempted.

No, this was just a pink tank top, which ended just over his navel, baring his belly.

Which was still a bit hairy, but at least he’d neatened it up.

It was… he didn’t look like a girl, as he pouted and posed in the mirror.

But then again, he didn’t want to look like a girl.

Not exactly.

He wanted to be pretty, but… his own kind of pretty.

And then came the stockings.

He sat on the bed, and he carefully pulled them on, mindful of the roughness of his feet, mindful of the delicacy of the stockings.

He’d torn his first two pairs, before he learned.

They were nylon, and they stretched over his calves, hugged them.

They were, naturally, pink.

And of course, last of all… the heels.

Schneep was of two minds about the heels.

He knew the damage that high heels could do to his knees and his feet.

But they made him look so _sexy_.

And then it was done.

He was all made up and pretty, his sex toys were on the bed next to him, as well as the proper safer sex supplies, and he was all set.

… except he’d forgotten an extra towel.

Goddamn it.

Schneep made a face, and he stood up, carefully balancing on his heels.

There was nobody home, so he had nothing to worry about, right?

After all, everyone was out.

He took a deep breath, and he stepped out of his room.

* * * 

Everything was going great.

Until Anti was just… standing there.

It was a thing he could do, although he didn’t do it that often, probably because everyone yelled at him when he did.

It was unsettling, and it did… things to your mind.

It took Schneep a minute to get himself back, more or less, and then he was struck with just how fucked he was.

Anti was smiling at him with too many teeth.

“I knew you had a secret, Herr Doktor,” said Anti, and he was playing up the accent.

He was bleeding down the front of his shirt, because of course he was. 

“Fuck off,” Schneep said, and he attempted to spin on his heel, he overbalanced.

Anti caught him, and Anti’s arms were around his waist, holding him close.

“Fancy meeting a nice girl like you in a place like this,” said Anti.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Schneep said, trying to keep his tone lofty.

“You've literally spent the whole fucking day catering to everyone else’s fetishes,” Anti said. “Don’t you want yours catered to?”

“What would make you think that I’m not having it catered to by doing it by _myself_ ,” said Schneep, endeavoring to sound annoyed.

Anti was still warm, and Schneep was responding in ways that he hadn’t expected.

He was sexually… something or other, that was for sure.

He didn’t know what he wanted, but Anti seemed like an interesting prospect.

“How would you feel about some company, hmm?” 

Anti was grinning now, and he was grinding against Schneep’s ass.

“... I want to set a few ground rules,” said Schneep.

The spirit was willing to be defiant, but _oh_ the flesh was weak. 

* * * 

There would be no bleeding on Schneep’s stuff.

There would be no complaining about condoms. 

There would be no snarky comments.

There would be no sharing the information re: Schneep’s kink with everyone.

“I can live with all of that,” said Anti, and he sat on the bed. “Now… how about you give me some loving, sweetheart? I want a pretty girl on my lap.”

Schneep blushed, and he locked his door.

He walked over to Anti carefully, and he straddled him, still in the high heels.

Anti took Schneep’s face between his hands, and he kissed Schneep on the mouth, which was… a bit much, but it was hot, in a weird way.

They weren’t in the white exam room - they were in Schneep’s slightly cramped bedroom, full of Schneep’s stuff, and there weren’t fluorescent lights, it was just the dim light from the desk lamp, and then Anti’s big hands were on Schneep’s back, pulling the two of them tightler together, as Anti just… kissed Schneep.

Anti’s teeth were too long and too sharp, and Anti’s hands were a bit too grabby, but in a weird way, that made it perfect.

It wasn’t like something out of a porno, where everything went well.

Anti’s cock was hard and it was pressed against Schneep’s ass, and then Anti was grabbing Schneep’s ass, squeezing it.

“What a pretty pair of panties,” Anti said, and he sounded particularly lecherous. “Fuck, I just want to fuck you right here….”

Schneep avoided eye contact, blushing, and Anti took Schneep’s chin in his hand, forcing eye contact.

“Look at me, pretty girl,” Anti said in a voice to be obeyed, and Schneep shuddered, his knees squeezing Anti convulsively.

“You like that, huh?” 

Anti’s hand was squarely on Schneep’s ass, squeezing it, kneading it, and then both of Anti’s hands were on Schneep’s ass, kneading it, then squeezing it harder, pulling Schneep open.

“I just want to sink into that sweet pussy,” Anti said, right in Schneep’s ear, and Schneep shuddered convulsively, his hips bucking up.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you? You want my thick cock to split that sweet, wet pussy of yours in half, you just want to feel me fucking you, don’t you, sweetheart?”

Schneep, too embarrassed to say anything, kissed Anti. 

Anti smelled slightly like stale chocolate, and like smoke.

He didn’t smoke, as far as Schneep knew, and yet.

He was so warm, and his heart was hammering through his chest, hard enough that Schneep could feel it against his own chest.

And then Anti was… Anti was flipping him flat on his back, and holy _fuck_.

It wasn’t that Schneep had never had sex on this bed - Schneep had even had sex with Anti on this bed.

But his head was full of the perfumes of his body wash, and he was still wearing the knee high stockings, as Anti pushed his skirt up, grabbing Schneep obscenely between the legs and squeezing Schneeps’ cock.

“Oh, look at how wet you are, sweetheart,’ said Anti, and he was smirking. 

He looked almost like a caricature of some kind of incubus, all glowing eyes and dark hair.

But he was groping around for the gloves, putting one on his hand and squeezing lube onto his finger, then shoving the leg of Schneeps’ panties to the side, to gain access to Schneeps’ hole.

“You’re going to stretch them out,” Schneep said, aware that he was whining, not really caring.

At least he didn’t have to lecture Anti about the gloves anymore.

That one had finally stuck.

“I’ll get you nicer ones,” Anti snapped, and his fingers were cool with lube, solid, as they slid inside of Schneep.

After a day of putting fingers in other people’s butts, it was… a shock.

But Anti was deceptively gentle, and his fingers found their mark almost immediately.

Schneep arched off of the bed, moaning like he was being paid for it, and he looked up at Anti, who was practically haloed with the light, his strange eyes glowing.

There was lipstick on his mouth.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Anti said, and it didn’t even sound like he was lying.

Schneep looked to the side, and Anti’s other hand pushed Schneep’s shirt up, pinching Schneep’s nipple through the thin bra. 

Schneep was moaning again, and his hips were rising up to meet each of Anti’s thrusts, as his fingers twisted, and then they were pressing down on Schneep’s prostate harder, and Schneep’s whole body went rigid.

He came.

It was a completely dry orgasm (apart from all of the prostate fluid dripping down his cock), and Schneep was still shuddering, as Anti added a third finger, shoving his pants down and squeezing his own cock.

“I’m gonna fuck this pretty little cunt,” Anti told Schneep, looking into Schneep’s eyes, and he was smirking like the downfall of angels.

Schneep rolled his eyes, because… well, Anti was playing it up.

But he wasn’t going to worry about it too hard.

He was well aware that he looked a bit silly himself, in this outfit, but fuck it.

And then, there was Anti’s cock.

It seemed to have recovered from the workout it had earlier, and Anti was rolling a condom onto his cock, stroking it a few times to firm it up.

“You ready for me, sweetheart?”

Anti was playing it up now, and the head of his cock was rubbing around the rim of Schneep’s asshole, letting Schneep’s muscles try to pull it in. 

“You’re so wet,” Anti said, and he was rubbing his own lubed up cock right across Schneep’s hole, as his hands went to Schneep’s thighs, pushing them open. “Fuck, I’m gonna fuck you so good, you’ll be ruined for any other men.” He winked at Schneep, and Schneep rolled his eyes. “I know you’ve ruined other girls for me,” Anti added, in that same obnoxious tone of voice, and Schneep had to resist the urge to pinch Anti, because Anti was being a shit.

Of course he was being a shit.

What else could Anti be?

… Anti could be someone with a lovely, hot, thick cock, sliding into Schneep, and one hand was squeezing Schneep’s bare thigh, hard enough to bruise, the pale skin dimpling from the force.

The other hand was up Schneep’s shirt, and at least he’d remembered to take the glove off, so no lube on Schneep’s shirt.

Anti rolled his hips, and Schneep cried out.

Why was this asshole so damn good at sex?!

It wasn’t fair!

 

Schneep made some kind of frustrated noise, his hands grabbing at his own headboard, and Anti iaughed.

“Rub your clit for me, darling,” Anti said, in a commanding tone of voice. “Make yourself cum for me, I wanna see you cum in those pretty panties.”

Schneep flushed, but he reached between his legs, beginning to jerk himself off awkwardly, trying to thrust his hips forward, to get Anti deeper.

And then Anti was all the way in, bottomed out, his balls slapping against Schneep’s ass, and he was fucking Schneep hard enough that it was starting to almost hurt, but then Anti was pinching Schneep’s nipples again, and Schneep was crying out like something out of a porno, and he was shuddering around the cock in his ass.

“Just like that sweetheart, whlle I play with your tits, c’mon, come around my dick, do it, I wanna feel your soft wet pussy twitching around me.”

Anti was playing it up, and Schneep wanted to roll his eyes, but he just jerked himself off harder, beginning to buck his hips, because holy fuck, Anti was… bigger.

He felt bigger, at any rate, and his cock was swelling, as he got closer to cumming, and he was beginning to pant.

He twisted Schneep’s nipple, and Schneep cried out, his whole body arching off of the bed, as he just… came, came across his belly, came across his chest, all over his nice clothes, as Anti leaned down and kissed him, as Anti’s hips sped up, making the bed squeak, and then Anti was cumming inside of Schneep, inside of the condom, and the heat of if was enough to make Schneep shudder, even as he began to relax, lying back on his bed, his legs falling open like something out of a dirty magazine.

He was panting, his chest rising and falling, and Anti was lying on top of him, his body heat enough to make Schneep wish he could sweat.

Of all the things to share with Jack….

“So,” said Anti, into Schneep’s neck, “are you feeling satisfied with your care?”

“... why are you quoting Big Hero Six at me?”

“Because it’s the most doctory thing I could think of,” said Anti. “C’mon, I just came. Gimme a break.”

“Why are you going all doctory?”

“‘Cause I just doctored you,” said Anti.

Schneep rolled his eyes, but he stayed sprawled on the bed.

All of the egos would go to bed content, at least.

That was something, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different?
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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